And Then There Was Ruth

Peace peace peace

2012-01-26T11:55:00.001-08:00

Good afternoon,

How is everyone doing?! Hopefully just splendid! I mean we are experiencing early spring weather basically here in Edmonton, who couldn't be happy?

So, I know a lot of my posts lean towards a negative sense which is definitely something I am working on! So I thought I'd share some happy news today!

Lately I've really been experiencing major inner changes in my life and really feeling like I'm growing, as a women and as a Christian! I've been really digging deep and seeking God's will for my life and trying to remove things in my life that are hindering me from His will.

I saw this image on Facebook one night after I had been crying and dealing with some stuff. Yes, it's Disney, BUT it is so true! Even when things hurt from your past, you have to decide to use it for good; learn and grow.

I've been learning so much lately. I've been choosing to be a better person and learn from my mistakes. I'm not shoving them away for a rainy day anymore. Let me tell you, it has been so freeing! I haven't felt so happy and content and just 'full' in a long time. I can't wait to see where my journey is going to take me.

Thanks for joining me on this adventure!

Xoxo
-Ruthie

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Precious moments

2012-01-12T09:24:00.000-08:00

Good Morning followers,

I was having a conversation the other night with a new friend of mine about those moments of pure peace and happiness that make life feel so fulfilling, and what he called a possible reflection of heaven. I've been more aware of these moments since this conversation, even seeking them out. Who doesn't want complete peace and happiness?

I just had a moment such as this, even if it was brief, which prompted my suddenly urge to blog. I was just sitting on my bed, eating scrambled eggs and toast, sipping coffee, and listen to the amazing new album by Florence and the Machines - The Ceremonials. Have a listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbN0nX61rIs&ob=av2e .

It was just a moment in the music, where the instruments built up and the vocals disappeared, and it just felt complete. I hope you can relate with me, because it's hard to explain moments like this. They just are. And they are amazing.

Try to think of moments like that in your life, even if it lasted for 3 seconds, where nothing mattered except that moment. Where it was pure and hopefully and made you feel like things were possible in your life that only 4 seconds prior were not. Life wouldn't be the same without these moments I believe. They are there to give hope for the future and for you to forget the worries and stress of your life.

Love you guys,

R

How do you know?

2011-12-28T22:52:00.000-08:00

My goodness darling followers,

Why must my love life be such a roller coaster? You would think after taking a year long break from dating I'd have gained some sort of stability. Apparently this was a false notion on my part. Don't get me wrong, taking this lovely break has taught me to listen to my red flags, and decide who really isn't worth my time and listen to my gut when I know something isn't right deep down. Without fail, after saying buh bye to these crazy men, their true selves would always reveal true. Thankfully I haven't dated any. Just got to know them, and before taking the plunge, ran the other way. The sad thing, these 'crazies' did what every girl wants right - to be pursued, to have a guy stick by for a time and pine away for your heart. I said to my sister the other day "I just wish there was a guy out there who REALLY wanted me. Who would do anything to be with me." And then we both paused, and I had to add, "that I also want". That's the thing. How do you REALLY know? I've come to realize that I also give guys a chance. I think to myself "well he seems nice. I should get to know him, not just slap him down." But then I end up in the most ridiculous, couldn't even be written in a movie script, situations and I stand back and wonder, "how did I just get myself into this situation?"

I've recently learned that two of my exes are of recent either engaged or in the process of proposing, and I'm sincerely happy for them. The one I think, "well I sure hope he treats her better than he treated me"... and the other, "I sure hope she can handle an extremely needy guy." I suppose needy is good if you truly care for the person. I'm not sure. I just want something more. I need mutual respect. Communication. Attractive.

This is a big mumble of thoughts, so bear with me if it's not really make sense. Just ... have you met that person who just makes you want to be better? To try new things, and strive to live a deeper meaningful life? As of late, I have. But mutual connection doesn't seem to be a strong enough glue in this situation. I don't know why boys fall for me that I don't want, and the boys I fall for don't want me. As humans we don't want to purposefully put ourselves in situations that we know will be hard or painful, but I'd rather try then never know. I don't believe in coincidences, I think things happen for a reason, and people meet for a reason, and there is purpose and meaning. I can't wait for the right man to come into my life who sees me as an equal, not better or worse than them. Someone who can see eye to eye with me, and isn't intimidated by my straight forward personality. I either meet men who just say yes always to me, or men who fight me tooth and nail. Why can't there be balance? I'm honestly content in life to be single, but it appears my heart can't get a break lately. I'm getting so tired of men, and I need to learn a balance between opening my heart to guys to give them a chance. I just want to know the secret, the key if you will. How do I know when to let them in? How long do you make a guy work for your affection? Do men really chase after girls if they are interested? I feel as though this is a mystical myth - they must all be in a far off land with leprechauns and unicorns.

Pondering me,

xoxo

2/2

2011-12-15T09:44:00.001-08:00

Hey everyone,

So I did take this on Monday when I wrote my final exam but I have been slow in the blogging, my bad!!

The exam on Monday went awful and I came home a tired sad mess to say the least. I'm really hoping I am wrong and didn't fail! It'd be so wonderful to never have to do that course again. Pfft, Information Technology!

On a happier note, I got 87% on my religion final and came out with a 89% on that class. I also got my paper back from my personality psychology class and ended up with a 90%! So that's great, and I'm really happy about it all!

Lately I've really been trying to make some changes in my life and learn more about God and just my faith. It's interesting how as soon as a person tries to make positive change things can go so wrong. I've heard a few nasty things about me lately, and I'm starting to feel a bit drained.

This semester has been one of the most draining academically wise but also personally and emotionally. So many things went wrong and I'm feeling happy to wash my hands of it all.

So here is to a break, to a new semester, and to continuing forward in my positive changes!

Much love,
Ruth
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1/2

2011-12-09T08:40:00.001-08:00

As per tradition:

It's exam 1/2 today! Can you believe that? Only two exams! So happy! Anyways, today is my religion exam. I don't feel ready so hopefully these next few hours will help with that....

What a crazy week I've had. First I get hit with a terrible flu. I was either in the bathroom or laying flat on my back. Not fun. Then I got a letter saying I owed the government $1400. Then future shop which has had my laptop for over a month told me they have no way of telling me when I'll ever get it back. They said 2-4 weeks and it's been 4 weeks. Sigh. Then my bass busted and I need to take it in to get fixed. Because I have money for that right.....

Blah. All in all I'm stressed but trying to stay positive and focused. I was blessed with $50 for an hour of cleaning the other day, and apparently I'm getting paid to watch some friends kids tomorrow night ( I wasn't expecting that!) so even it won't cover everything that is coming up money wise, it's still a blessing!!!

Love you guys,

Xoxo
Rutta

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Post Secondary

2011-11-26T17:00:00.001-08:00

Darling readers,

I know I haven't written in awhile, and I know that this is going to be WORST post ever to be my 'updated post' but I need to vent.

I cannot stand people who have never been to post secondary school and yet seem to think they know exactly what it is like, and try to make me feel guilty for doing homework!!! What is that? Who do you seriously think you are... I am paying thousands of dollars for my education, by myself, and I'm going to be paying it all back over the course of my life. If I can't text you back for a few hours, or talk on the phone, or go hang out, then suck it up! I don't particularily enjoy sitting at home doing homework by myself, or cancelling plans because this is the only time to get it done.

So, if you have a problem with my lack of social skills whilst I am in school, you can take it up with my GPA. Better yet, find me when I'm finished my degree, and if I can arrange time to talk to you from my porcelain pedestal I'll write it into my new fancy day planner. Because apparently I'm so snobby for being in post secondary and not having time for other people.

Yesh. Some people!

Annoyed Ruth much?

xo

One year ago!

2011-10-31T18:40:00.001-07:00

Guess what? I made it I made it! Lalalala. Year of no men is officially over. So happy. Being single isn't that bad though!;)

Xoxox
Miss Ruth

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Just Ruth

2011-10-26T06:13:00.001-07:00

Hey all,

One week left of my man-fast and I couldn't be any happier to just be and not have what's turned into somewhat of a crutch, be gone. I have had the strangest last three months of my fast.

Two different guys came into my life both of which I told I was on this fast and I wouldn't be making any decisions to date.

I suppose the truth is, the first one I never actually wanted to date. But who says no to an attractive Christian man who says they are willing to wait? Um... This girl does!

After that I got pretty down because well... My personality got attacked. And it has been over a month of figuring out the truth and standing firm that hey, this is me - Ruth. Take it or leave it. I'm learning, growing, and changing. And I'll never be perfect, but show me who is.

The second boy came along at the perfect time, my knight in shining armor if you will. But I couldn't date him. He seemed perfect, ideal, but I made a vow to myself to wait a year. And ultimately.... My gut told me I needed more time.

So I'm boy-less. Which I have been for yes one week less of a year, but yeah.

Really, this just proves to me that I'm one tough cookie. Maybe I've slipped up but I'm trying. And Ruth over a year ago would already have a boyfriend.

Love you all, thanks for always supporting me!!

Xoxo
Rutta

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Grade 12 Writing Assignment

2011-10-16T20:21:00.000-07:00

Hey all,

Sooooo I found this short story I wrote back in my grade 12 AP class and I was laughing so hard. I got 100% on it and she read it to the class, which I was shocked. Mrs. Watt all year told me my writing was crap and I was getting 60s in every assignment until this one. She said I had a very strong 'voice' in it. Anyways, happy read! Man, it makes me miss writing a lot...

Adventures of Ruth Stewart

It was a late night, well past the time I should have been in bed, oh what a rebel I was. With great hesitation I climbed up the millions of stairs the house was taunting me with. Barely awake, half sleeping, I went into my room, and got into my cozy blue pajamas. How naive I was not taking my next steps with extreme precaution.

After putting the clothes I had worn that day into the laundry hamper, I turned off my Winnie the Pooh light switch, and walked down the hall to the bathroom. How was I to know that after closing the washroom door, I may come face to face with my worst enemy? I can tell you right now, I surly did not consider this option. I pulled my hair back with a black hair tie, took my glasses off, and proceeded with brushing my teeth. I had yet to inspect my face in the gigantic mirror placed in front of me. I swished the water in my mouth and spat into the sink. I wiped my mouth off with the back of my hand, and then ran the water to wash my face.

I splashed the lukewarm water over my face and began to scrub. Still to this day I cannot remember why I got the notion in my head to look at my reflection while water was directly dripping in my eyes. Anyways, I got the notion and yes I looked up. Just as easily as I looked up, I looked down. I proceeded with splashing more water over my face. My mind began to silently scream at me and pressed the panic button. What was wrong? My heart began to pound and I once again looked up at my reflection. Through the mirror I could see a fuzzy circular form. A large fuzzy circular form. A large fuzzy circular form directly behind me clinging to the wall. In a flash I grabbed my glasses, threw them onto my soaking face and stared inches away at my worst opponent.

A massive brown and orange spider the size of a crab-apple stood there begging for a reaction from me. As he laughed in my face, I screamed and ran to the top of the stairs. I called for help but no one came. Who would my hero be? Who would rescue me from the awful creature who forced me out of my own bathroom? I ran to my sister’s room, my older sister who had been sleeping for only 20 minutes prior to my episode, and cried for her help. She woke up, wondering if it was morning already. I didn’t have time for questions I pulled her arm and threw her out of her warm comfortable bed. Would she kill this evil creature for her younger, adorable, sister? Would she be strong and face my demon for me? She spazed out and spoke unkind words to little sweet innocent me. I ignored the comments and dragged her to the bathroom. I pushed her inside and stayed a far distance from the beast. I pointed up and she looked up. Her eyes bulged and she told me to get a chair for her. I ran and got her a wooden desk chair from her room. When I returned the real adventure began.

There my older yet smaller sister was standing there looking at her new foe with an enormous wad of toilet paper in her left hand. She climbed up the chair only centimetres from the fiend. I watched from the doorway, my view was like the front row seats of a movie theatre, too close for comfort. I stretched my head around the door to watch her in action. She plunged for it, pounding the wall with one swift punch. To our horror the spider fell, dropped down as if its legs gave up on him. I screamed, she screamed, I’m sure if we could have heard the spider’s voice he would have been screaming too. Screaming because his life was about to come to a complete definite end, or just because of our shrill outburst. Heather turned around in one sudden movement spinning her foot around on the slippery varnished chair. Trying to escape the wrath of the monster, her hasty movement caused her to fall. Her chin made a new friend that night. The counter and her chin became very close acquaintances. As she lay on the floor crying out in pain, I stood there screaming at her to kill the ogre who was trying to escape his punishment for causing our late night ruckus. She rolled over, bloody and all, and beat the crap out of that spider, for disturbing her peace, and causing her head to almost explode. I still made her flush the toilet paper down the toilet just to make sure. One never wants to take these things too lightly. I didn’t want to go to bed and wake up with a bandaged spider hanging over my head, coming for his revenge.

After all the commotion was over my mother ran up the stairs and told us to be quiet and to stop thumping around since my father was trying to sleep. Why it took her so long to realize there was a major battle going on in her own house is still a mystery to me. Although, she did realize we had a ‘man down’, there poor Heather was moaning on the floor with a puddle of blood under her head and I had tears in my eyes and a horrified look on my face. My mother nursed my sister back to health and sent her to bed.

I dried off my face, and went into my room and changed my now soaking wet top and curled up in my bed. I slept peacefully that night. I mean I felt bad for Heather of course, but my problem was solved. No way was that spider going to sneak up on me like that again, now that his guts were mixing with the contents of the sewer. I was so happy my sister came to my rescue. She’ll always be my hero. Heather: My sister who always uses her head.

xoxox

Scared of spiders girl,

Gems

2011-10-14T21:15:00.002-07:00

Hope you felt some sort of emotion when seeing these images. I love them all!

Xo
Ruth

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Credit where credit is due

2011-10-05T09:12:00.001-07:00

Oh how I can never get sick of this! I love it so much! Angela Jeske you are far too talented!

Xo
Ruthie

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Inspiration

2011-10-03T07:08:00.001-07:00

Good Morning everyone,

When I have free time, I like to browse a few different blogs and websites. I always love discovering an article or a picture that instantly clicks with me. There is something incredibly magical in connecting with images or ideas in the world. Here are a few that have stuck with me the past few days:

There is beauty in the world!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hRnLRwKBWk&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Xo Ruth

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Man Fast

2011-09-26T22:10:00.000-07:00

Darling readers of mine,

Many of you know that I've been on a 'man fast' of sorts since last year. What some of you probably don't know however is that I have a journal that I've kept for my future husband. In high school my dear friend Andrea was always creative and would keep a journal for her long distance boyfriend at the time. I started mine January 3rd/2007. It's no where near as creative as she can be, nor close to being full, but I've used it in times of happiness and times of heart break. It was always an outlet.

Last October, 2010 I decided to start my man fast, and this is what I wrote in my book: Day one of this new idea is already difficult as my heart is broken. But it wasn't you. It wasn't right. And I believe you are out there. Same as me. Evolving, being molded into the man God has set a part for me. So, here is to heart-break and learning what we need to find in a forever partner! xo rs

I really can't believe I made a year. I was really determined, and I even wrote only a few days later in my book about how a friend automatically said she didn't think I could make it! So, here is to learning, growing, and changing. I did something not many people thought I could do, and I'm so happy for it.

My forever partner is out there. I know it.

Much love,

Ruthie

Words of the wise

2011-09-26T15:47:00.001-07:00

Xoxo
Miss Ruth

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Identity

2011-09-20T20:58:00.000-07:00

Hey darling readers,

So I've been really coming up against some stuff and finding out some pretty harsh stuff that people have been thinking/saying about me. Not to mention the fact that someone carved "Ruth is dumb" into a locker near mine. It's been a really rough few days, and I've really appreciated the love of friends and my family. As I was sitting in my bed I thought of this song and thought it suited how I'm feeling right now. My dad really was able to lift me up today and speak blessings into me. You dont' realize how awful words hurt until you are put into a position of being ripped a part.

Hope you enjoy the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6MBY-0_0yU

Because I Am A Queen - India Arie

sometimes i shave my legs and sometimes i don't
sometimes i comb my hair and sometimes i won't
depend on how the wind blows i might even paint my toes
it really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul

i'm not the average from your video
and i ain't built like a supermodel
but i learned to love myself unconditionally
because i am a queen
i'm not the average from your video
my worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
no matter what i'm wearing i will always be
india arie (Ruth Stewart ;))

when i look in the mirror and the only one there is me
every freckle on my face is where it's supposed to be
and i know my creator didn't make no mistakes on me
my feet my thighs my lips my eyes i'm loving what i see

i'm not the average from your video
and i ain't built like a supermodel
but i learned to love myself unconditionally
because i am a queen (yeah)
i'm not the average from your video (woo)
my worth is not determined by the price of my clothes (whoa)
no matter what i'm wearing i will always be
india arie (Ruth Stewart ;))

am i less of a lady if i don't wear hose
my mama said a lady ain't what she wears but what she knows
but i've drawn the conclusion
it's all an illusion
confusion's the name of the game
a misconception a vast deception,
something's got to change

don't be offended this is all my opinion
ain't nothing that i'm saying law
this is a true confession
of a life-learned lesson
i was sent here to share with y'all
so get in when you fit in
go on and shine
clear your mind
now's the time
put your salt on the shelf
go on and love yourself (love yourself)
'cause everything's gonna be alright (love yourself)

i'm not the average from your video
and i ain't built like a supermodel
but i learned to love myself unconditionally
because i am a queen (yeah)
i'm not the average from your video (woo)
my worth is not determined by the price of my clothes (whoa)
no matter what i'm wearing i will always be
india arie (Ruth Stewart ;))

keep your fancy drink and your expensive minks
i don't need that to have a good time
keep your expensive cars
and your caviar
all's i need is my guitar
keep your cristal and your pistol
i'd rather have a pretty piece of crystal
don't need your silicone
i prefer my own
what god gave me is just fine
(oh hah hah hah)

i'm not the average from your video
and i ain't built like a supermodel
but i learned to love myself unconditionally
because i am a queen (yeah)
i'm not the average from your video (woo)
my worth is not determined by the price of my clothes (whoa)
no matter what i'm wearing i will always be

Much love,

Ruth Natasha Stewart - ME

Hippie!

2011-09-13T14:57:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone,

So I've been really happy that my hair has been growing out! Remember a year ago when my hair got butchered and I was rocking the one sided mullet look? Yes, hard to believe that will be a year already as of October.

Anyways, I've been playing around with my hair trying to do different things with it. I've settled on growing out my bangs and parting my hair down the middle. We'll see how long it lasts. I do know I won't be chopping my hair off anytime soon!

Love love love,

Rutta

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Baby shower <3

2011-09-10T14:27:00.001-07:00

Xo
Ruth

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Baby shower

2011-09-09T07:44:00.001-07:00

Hi all!

I'm super excited, I'm throwing my dear friend Karolina a baby shower on Saturday! I hope it's lovely like I'm imagining and everyone enjoys themselves. I can't wait to post pictures. I've spent a lot of time on this shower, and hand made her gift and the decorations:) fingers crossed it goes well!

Pictures to come....

Xoxo
Ruthie

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Back to School

2011-09-07T06:09:00.001-07:00

Good Morning!

I'm currently on a bus heading to my first day of my third year in university!!!! I'm so nervous. Silly me. I know it's crazy but I really am! Fingers crossed this is a great year :)

Xo
Ruthie

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Fall is here!

2011-09-02T15:40:00.000-07:00

Good Afternoon reading folk,

How are you? I've been sort of MIA lately, and I honestly have no excuse. I have (well had...) nothing but time, and today I've realized my leisure time has slipped away. School is starting in less than a week, and I could not be more leery. I wish I was excited to go back. I'm not really dreading it per say, but not looking forward to it either.

It's been such a crazy year, and I'm determined to make this upcoming one better than the last. Which in order to do that, I'm really going to have to get through this next school year with a better attitude. I think I've realized where a lot of my 'unhappiness' during school has come from: I'm not in the right program. I think I've always known this deep down. I'm sure I've even said this somewhere in a previous post. I've been really trying to figure out what it is that I want to do, and I think I've come up with the solution: Interior Design. NAIT offers a two year program which I currently don't have the right qualifications to get into the program as it stands. I will need to make sure that I take the courses that I'm lacking as electives at Concordia. I haven't told my dad yet... a part of me is terrified that he is going to be disappointed that I won't be as upscale of a career women. I honestly don't know what his reaction will be, I'm sure I am not giving the man enough credit. I just have to tell him and get it over with. The few that I have told that know me well, have all had the same reaction "that makes a lot of sense". And the more that I think about it, the more that it does make sense...it just feels...right. It's a weird thing to explain. The thought of it really excites me and terrifies me but I can just see myself in that field - and loving it. Which is ultimately what I've always wanted; a job that I love. And one that if I were to decide to become a mum someday, I could do part time or something.

So, with that explanation, I'm sure my lack of excitement in finishing my degree makes a little more sense. I am super against just dropping out of school half way through if you can't take your credits to something else. And I couldn't. I mean I could, but the program I want is a specific program, not a university degree. So, my plan is to finish my three year degree (this next year I am doing in three semesters not two however), and then apply for the program at NAIT. I'll be done school by 26 or something? But, oh well. Who knows what the future really holds, but I'm feeling pretty confident in my decision.

Three cheers to future plans, and thing to look forward to!

xoxoxo
Ruth Natasha

P.S: Enjoy this link, I am dying to do this someday to my room!
http://www.polliblog.com/2011/02/make-it-kitsch-stitch.html

Summer lovin'

2011-08-15T22:48:00.000-07:00

Hello my lovely readers,

Hopefully you are all enjoying the summer sunshine and lack of rain (for you Edmontonians who have suffered through all the downpours!). I realize I haven't really been keeping up with my blog in my usual (updating my life!) way, so I thought I'd take a few moments to do so.

What is new with me? Well, I have moved back in with my parents! To some they would say that is a huge mistake or a step backwards, but it definitely was the right decision for me. It really came down to ruining a friendship of many years for good, and continuing to live a life of complete stress. I just didn't know how to deal with the stress of my living situation and school and working. I've learned that about myself, that I deal with stress very poorly. I don't see the whole situation of moving out as running away either. It really was a positive change.

I haven't worked a day this entire summer, besides the two house cleaning job that I've kept as a small source of income. I realized today how much I've enjoyed the freedom. Last summer was an emotional roller coaster for me with working out in the oil rig camp, and this summer I've been home and been able to be a part of a dear friends wedding, and be around my niece quite a bit. It's just been very relaxing. I have been looking for a job, but only applied to one. I did have an interview but never heard back from there (they are crazy and don't know what they are missing out on, trust me ;) )! I keep looking for an admin job that I can do on Tuesday and Thursdays throughtout my school year but to no avail. The right job will appear I know it will. I may not have much money to my name, but I think I really needed this summer.

As for school, it is quickly approaching. I think I'm realizing more and more I am not in the right program. I have an idea of what I would like to be doing, but I am determined to finish my 3 year degree first before I make any major decisions. I am still young, and more school won't kill me. I don't think dropping out in the middle of my degree would be the right move at all, and I could never justify the waste of all that money that I now have building up in loans.

Anyways, I am happy. My relationship with my old roommate is slowly getting better, me and my sister are actually getting along at home (it was a concern for me!), I'm enjoying my niece growing up, and I'm enjoying being on the event planning committee at church, and planning my friends baby shower on my own. Things are good. I feel content. Thanks for all sticking by me through this crazy journey I am on. I love you all dearly.

xoxox
Much love,
Ruth Natasha

Awakened

2011-08-07T21:33:00.000-07:00

This has such meaning to me. I hope you can find some sense of foundation in it also.

xoxo
Ruthella

The good and the bad

2011-08-06T13:58:00.001-07:00

" You should never hold back your good news when you see my life is being engulfed by the bad. Good news is too rare to not share."

Such a great quote that I heard on a new addiction of mine 'Brothers & Sisters'. I need to learn to rejoice in other people's good news even when all I see is grey clouds over my head.

Here's to learning!
Xo
Ruth

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Amanda's Wedding Pictures!

2011-08-03T21:55:00.000-07:00

Dazzle

2011-08-02T21:38:00.000-07:00

This is so true....

xo
rs

One man crew

2011-07-28T22:31:00.001-07:00

'ello mates,

My dear 'ol pops built me a beautiful room. Due to time and a desperate need for sanity he built it closet-less however! I was looking forward to finding some sort of wardrobe or rack to go with my particular taste, but in the meantime invaded my mother's laundry room.

Yesterday my mother told me she really needed me to find something for my clothes because she needed her laundry rack for something other than my own personal sanctuary of clothing. I knew the day would eventually come, I just didn't have the funds for a full blown wardrobe at the present. So, my darling Andrea took me out and we found a lovely doorless bamboo wardrobe of sorts for 50% off! Steal of a deal I tell ya!

I came home and spent the next two hours putting it together myself! I felt so handy. Ahem, seriously though. I came up to some glitches and issues but I overcame them (so heroic of me!). I know I know, whoopie you win 5 gold stars, yadda yadda but you just take a look at what a little money and two hours of 'manual' labour accomplishes:

So happy! Now to paint my dresser a fun color... Perhaps red? Blue? Oh the endless joy of future projects! Yay!!!!!

Xoxo
Rufaloofus
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Buh bye my love

2011-07-21T19:21:00.001-07:00

The ROM

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2011-07-18T17:58:00.001-07:00

Not the best picture of me but I found one of my dress for those of you wanting to see!!!!

Xo
Ruthie

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On a blog!

2011-07-17T22:14:00.001-07:00

Hello all!

Things have been amazingly crazy this past week. I'm having such an amazing trip to Ontario.

As a bridesmaid gift Amanda gave me earrings that James' sister made. She has a little business called alittlehelloo where her and a friend make earrings out of vintage buttons and sell them in a few shops downtown Toronto!

Anyways, me and another bridesmaid, one of James' other sisters, wore our earrings to the wedding and the earring designer asked to put us in her business blog.

Check it out: http://alittlehelloo.tumblr.com/
I feel famous!!!!

Xoxo
Ruthie

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Ontario bound

2011-07-12T16:31:00.001-07:00

Hello everyone!

So I'm Ontario bound once again. This time I'm going for something other than a funeral! Yay! And something very opposite to a funeral - a wedding! My dear friend Amanda Andrews shall be married to James DeBoer on Saturday, July 16th! So crazy!!

Here is a sneak peak to what I may look like on Saturday. Dad wanted to get in on the shoot! Hopefully my awesome Henkaa dress will work strapless the day of, or else may be wrapping it another fun way!

Well I'm about to board the plane, don't miss me too much Alberta folk!! Xo

Miss Ruth

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You light up my life!

2011-06-29T15:23:00.001-07:00

'Ello my lovelies,

So, my dear father and a few of his helpers have been working day and night to finish my room before I move back home on Friday. It warms to know how much my dad loves me to be doing this (all his idea!) for me!

So in a few hours I am going with him to pick out paint and a light fixture for me room. My parents are so blessed with a landlord who appreciates their willingness to fix things and treat their rental as their own, and in exchange he pays for everything! He will reimburse them for paint, wood, drywall, etc. It's awesome. We can make the house how we want it to be and he pays for it.

So, these are the two lights that I have my eye on. I think I am leaning towards the first though... anyways, anyone have an opinion or vote? Let me know! It might be too late but I still want to know!

xoxoxo

Rutta

Dance Dance Dance

2011-06-28T07:48:00.000-07:00

Well it's been quite the morning. The whole, 'I'm moving back in with my parents on Thursday and my job is finished on Thursday' is starting to hit me. Many changes are happening and I'm trying to take them all on with an optimistic outlook and attitude, however sometimes I fail miserably. This morning was really rough and I ended up bawling as soon as I walked into work and saw my mother. Yay for crying in public places!

Anyways, after a much needed coffee, I settled into my desk and saw my daily stumbleupon suggestion sites. This was one of the suggestions for my daily dose of happy:

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2d3yZf/www.cracowdanceconnection.pl/

It makes me so happy. I just sat here thinking, man someday I want to be a part of something like that. I think I need to start really considering dance lessons again....hmmm.....

p.s: Quote of the day: It is not the strongest species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the ones most responsive to change.
xoxo
Ruth

One way or another.....

2011-06-23T09:48:00.000-07:00

...this move is gonna happen. And I am somehow going to afford to buy paint. I have a plan to spend $10 on cans of soup for the week. I will make it. Today doesn't feel like it, but somehow... it will all work out. It always does right?

Let's go back to a life of purple and pink and yellow and blue, and push this stupid grey to the side.

Deep breath,

xoxo

Ruth

So happy!

2011-06-17T10:23:00.000-07:00

Hello all,

Hope you are enjoying this lovely Friday! I cannot wait for this work day to be over, and for me to finally be free! I haven't taken a break since school, and I am so looking forward to the weekend. Even if it does involve me cleaning two houses, a break would be very lovely right about now! And I get to see Ava tonight, so really, what could be better??

So, I'm working on a very tedious project at work, so to break up the boring-ness, I've been checking out a few of my favourite craft - do it yourself blogs and websites. I'm getting so excited. I have bunch of summer projects that I want to do for my room and for the basement of my parents house.

Also, I am planning my friend Karolina's baby shower. It won't be until after she has her baby, which is late August, but I actually just found a site for an ADORABLE baby shower theme, and I cannot wait to get all the decorations and do baking. It's going to be so fun! I also found an adorable project that I am going to do as a baby gift. It's so sweet! Man, I love planning events, I was just thinking how sad it was that I didn't have 'events' on facebook planned or that I was attending.

Anyways, just thought I'd share some of my excitement!

xoxo
Ruth

Dream a little dream of me

2011-06-16T12:49:00.000-07:00

Good Afternoon lovely people of mine,

So, as all of your know (I think?), I am moving home in two weeks today! I can't help it, my mind instantly gets excited at the thought of decorating a new room, helping decorate the basement and fixing up my old bathroom.

I love looking through house and home magazine, decorating and style magazines, and most of all do-it-yourself magazines. I find every picture inspiring. From every image, or article there is always something that pops out. I love that feeling like oh my gosh, I could do that myself! Or I could totally see that working in this room of my house. It's something that has always excited me.

I was looking into interior design or decorating a while ago, but it's just not something that seems stable to me. Also, it's something that requires either physics or chemistry, which I think I just passed chemistry with a 50%. But I truthfully do not remember. My mother today was talking about the idea of me taking night courses for event planning, because that is something else that I love to do. I think I like the small details of it all. And the satisfaction of the before and afters....

Anyways, here are a few pictures that have caught my eye, and given me ideas and inspiration for projects that I'd like to do.

So, even though it's incredibly wet outside and just a pretty blah day, try to find beauty in the little things. No matter how small, don't let the grey skies dull out the beauty around you.

xoxo

Ruth

Lovely Tuesday

2011-06-07T11:45:00.000-07:00

Good Afternoon dear readers,

Today has been such a wonderful day for me. I handed in my final paper yesterday and my final lab today. Tomorrow is a review and then Thursday is my final exam. I am so happy that I'm almost done school for two and a half months. It's not the four months that people normally get, but I really can't complain because next year I will have Tuesdays and Thursdays off for the entire year!

I woke up late today but I refused to let it start my day off bad. I got to school early still, took money out to pay back a friend that I owed money to. I had to make change so I bought a coffee and sat down and read the newspaper. I don't remember the last time I let myself just sit and not stress out about what I had to get done. I was able to pay Amanda back for heels that I have for my her wedding (even though I am no longer attending...bah!), and I paid my rent. It felt so good to get three things off my 'list of money to pay" checked off.

In class the prof told everyone about the last exam that we wrote on Thursday and how the class average went down significantly. I got 60% and the other girls I talk to got 54%, 60% and 67%. At least it wasn't just me...all those girls have taken the class at least once before! I was trying to not stress about my mark because what good will that do right? And just as I was telling myself this, the prof tells us that he is going to add 4% to every one's exams!!! The exam was worth 20% of our final mark, so that was really exciting. And then he announced that if we wanted to start the exam at 9 instead of 10 he would give us three hours to complete the final instead of 2. He is so nice, we were all so relieved.

On the way home I missed my bus, and instead of getting annoyed I just walked right past the bus stop and walked into Borden Park. I've never walked through it before, and the first thing I saw was swings! So I had to stop. I stayed there, swinging, listening to Regina Spektor for a good 30 minutes. It was so pleasant. The sky was a little grey but there was such a nice breeze. The playground is near a main road, but my music was loud enough that all I could just hear was the occasional squeak from the swing set, my music, and my own singing. It was exactly what I needed. I've been so high stress for awhile, and just not feeling like myself. After, I walked along all the paths in the park. It is really pretty. I can't believe I've lived so close to it this whole time, and just discovered it's beauty three and a half weeks before I'm moving home.

Everything was just making me so happy: the birds chirping and the little old men taking their brisk walks through the park. I had such a feeling of peace and contentment. It was wonderful. I decided I would come home and sit on my deck instead of automatically closing myself in my room and studying. So this is what I'm doing now, sitting on my deck enjoying the breeze, blogging, and listening to music. I do need to study and put in a couple hours of NAIT work, but I'm taking things one step at a time today and not letting myself get overwhelmed.

I hope you are all enjoying your Tuesday's also!

xoxo
Rutta

2011-06-02T14:20:00.000-07:00

Good day everyone!

I hope you are all doing lovely! I wrote my exam today in stats, and it was pretty hard. My fingers are in pain from crossing them, hoping the symbolism will help me get above a 70% (ha! not likely...). At least it's done, and now I only have 4 more days left of my course! I am SO looking forward to being done! I'm really hoping for a girls night out dancing on Friday to celebrate my new freedom! I'm waiting to hear from a friend if she is going to be out of town or not, and if not then we are a GO! Yippee!! This is all assuming I'm going to pass the course. I WILL pass the course, I have faith! :D

So I was thinking today about all the things I have coming up to look forward to. Summer is always a time of hope, it makes me happy!

First I'll be moving home which let's be serious, I've already been thinking about how to decorate my room and the basement!

My boy cousins are all coming up one weekend in July with their new girlfriends which I am determined to hang out with them all FINALLY!

Then I'll be going to Ontario for Amanda's wedding. I'm so looking forward to seeing all my family. My cousin in Brantford said he'd come pick me up from Brampton which is at least a good hour drive, I am so happy!

Then I have a big church camping trip, which we are going cliff jumping and white water rafting, two things I've always wanted to do!!

I'm really hoping to go to folk fest this year, I've never been, but I am going to ask around to see who is going and hopefully go, even for two of the four days.

Also I'm going to the Maroon Five/Train concert!

One weekend me and Evanna are going to Medicine Hat and I'll visit Lacey and she will her friends (yay Lacey!)

Me and Evanna are also planning a trip to Calgary so she can visit her friends and I can finally visit my cousins Caleb and Cindy!

And somewhere in there, I am going to do my drivers training, and get my GDL. And the summer will be a time to save for a car. I could not be more excited about something!!!!!!!!

I can't wait to start having some fun again!

xoxox
Ruthie

School school school...

2011-06-01T20:08:00.001-07:00

Hey Everyone,

So I'm taking a little break from studying to blog. I feel like I haven't written a blog in forever! So, here is a little update on things going on in the life of ME!

I can't remember if I posted this but I'm taking a psychology stats spring course right now. Next Thursday is my final exam, and tomorrow (Thursday) I have another 'midterm' exam. My final paper is due on Monday and I have another lab due on Tuesday. So I have a ridiculous week a head, but I am getting so excited (perhaps impatient is a better word) for it to be over. I am getting really sick of studying all morning, then going to school then going to work then studying...it's summer time, I should just be working and relaxing. :)

The other day I locked myself in my room and watched Gossip Girls all day, poor decision, but I honestly couldn't do anything that involved thinking anymore. I've gotten an 82% or 83% on my first two exams in this course, but it's progressively getting harder, and I'm not confident at all for this exam tomorrow. It would be awesome to get an equally high mark, but I actually am just hoping to pass it...

Also, for those of you who don't know, I am moving back into my parents home at the end of the month. I will be paying my last 'rent' this month for awhile, it honestly feels like such a relief. I can't remember the last time money wasn't a huge issue for me on top of school stress. Of course it will still be there, but not on the same level if that makes any sense. My dad is building me a room in the basement, so I'll have a nice big room once again (YAY!!!), and I will share my old lovely purple bathroom with my sister. I was really nervous about moving in, in that my sister has my old room and bathroom and the only spare room (which is tiny!) is right across the upstairs hall from my parents, and they even sleep with their door open. My dad actually came up with the idea of building me a room and talked to my mom and Heather about it, and then asked me what I thought, then asked the landlord and it was a go! He is ripping out the bar from the basement, to make more room to go into the 'rec' room which will be in between my room and Heathers. It's hard to explain, but I think it will all work out nicely! I'm really excited for the change. Moving back home has been the first decision I've made in a very very long time, that feels like it is 100% the right thing to do. It helps me to know that everything is going to work out and go how it should!

Anyways, back to the studying!
xoxoxoxo
Moi

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEATHER!

2011-05-27T16:22:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to my dear sister Heather,

Thanks for always being there for me through thick and thin,

Even when we feel like killing each other or having a crazy cat fight,

You'll always be my partner in crime,

My kitchen dance partner,

and my best laughing buddy!

I love you! Happy 24th Birthday my little older sister!!

xoxoxox

Rufaloofus

You Could Be Happy

2011-05-25T20:46:00.000-07:00

"You Could Be Happy" - Snow Patrol

You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go

And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head

Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur

Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door

You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far

Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true

Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do

More than anything I want to see you, girl
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCduqLmmppg

Ruthella

Congrats!

2011-05-22T21:53:00.001-07:00

Big congrats to the newly weds, Mr. and Mrs. Joel Runnalls! I'm so happy for you two. Andrea, you were beautiful, and Joel truly handsome!

Thank you for asking me to be a part of your special day in such a big way. I love you both very much!

xoxo

Ruthie

This makes me want to pee myself!

2011-05-20T08:36:00.000-07:00

Literally....

Auntie Ruthie

My dream come true!

2011-05-16T21:10:00.000-07:00

She is mine, ALL mine! Muaahahahahahah!

So today has been a strange day, firstly I get my intro to my paper back in psych to discover that the 18/20 meant nothing that apparently it wasn't a true experiment and that I needed to re-do it; for tomorrow. Yay me! (it is currently 10:12 p.m. and I have yet to start writing a new intro...sigh). Then I come home to begin to work on a lab for psych for tomorrow, and realize I don't understand it at all. Bah! THEN, Evanna picks me up to go to this guy's house to check out the bass, to realize that google map doesn't believe that his house exists. Plus traffic was bad, so we were 30 minutes late (ah well, he made money today, so it's a good day!). But before we get to his house we have to stop at my parents house to get an extra $30 my mom didn't put in the envelope to find out my dad did not take money out and leave it for me, before he went out for errands. So spastic me, freaks out, runs around their house like a crazy person, only for my dear sister to 'lend' me $20.00 to cover most of the 'missing' $30.00. Bah. Then we pull up to the guy's house for both me and Evanna to turn to each other and say "holy crap, he looks exactly like Jonathan Penney!". It was weird.

Excited for the happy ending? I instantly fell in love - with the bass, not the Jonathan Penney look a like! I think we were there all of five minutes! I played her, looked at the neck and for any cracks, fiddled with the knobs a bit to see if the hardware was all good, and low and behold it was!! I keep laughing because randomly I call the bass a 'she' or a 'her'. It's hilarious! Even to the guy I laughed and said well apparently I think it's a girl! I really don't think I've ever done that before with an object that I owned? I'm taking it as a 'I must love her lots and lots'. Ahem... yes, I've turned into a crazy person...not that that should surprise any of you!

All in all, today has been a lovely day. The bass definitely made all the craziness wash away. I'm so excited, I keep turning and looking at her, wishing I had a tuner so I could play her. I know, why don't I own a turner? Lame! Thank you once again to everyone who chipped in. It's really a dream come true of mine. You have no idea how many lists of "Future things to buy/save up for" include "my own bass". :)

Love you guys,

xoxo

Ruthie

22 Birthday

2011-05-13T12:40:00.000-07:00

Man oh man. This birthday was amazing. The above picture is just after my family presented me with this homemade certificate to purchase my very own bass!! Up until now, I've played Heather's bass, Jacob's bass, then Aaron's bass and now back to Jacob's bass. I cannot wait to have my own sexy beast! I have put in an offer for an Ibanez SB 1200 bass, and I am going to go with Evanna and meet with the owner and try it out. If I like it, I'll hand over my $350.00 (thanks so much everyone!!!) and have my own beaut!

Isn't she gorgeous? I so hope she plays as nicely as she looks!!!! Fingers crossed! I'll keep you all in the loop on Monday, if she comes home with me, I'm sure you will all know right away!!!

I can't wait, I honestly don't remember the last time I was so excited about something.

xoxoxo

Rutta

My family

2011-04-28T08:44:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a short post, because I'm feeling very sick and very tired today, but I just wanted to say that I love my family very much. I think last night really showed us all how much we care about each other, and how strong we are as a family unit. So, my dear family, despite our occasional bickering and annoyances, you all are the best people I know, and I love you all very much. I am so blessed to have each of you in my life. Thank you for helping me grow and learn and become a better person.

xoxo
Ruthie

Oh the possibilities...

2011-04-25T14:43:00.000-07:00

Well, it's not secret that I've been miserable lately. I seriously don't remember the last time I have felt so awful about every aspect of my life. I've been feeling really down for about a month now and these past two weeks have really just been awful. I stayed with my family the entire weekend, and I really needed it. I needed their support and their unconditional love. I can't remember the last time I've cried so many times every day, for so many days in a row. I honestly didn't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I have so many things I need to figure out and work out right now, I always seem to let myself get so bogged down. And I've felt very much alone for a while now... it's funny how people choose to see the smile you give for 5 minutes of the day and pretend that they can't see the other 23 hours and 55 minutes of the day where you aren't happy. Some people just don't care. I get that. I get it that when you are so happy with everything in your life you don't want to let other people ruin that for you. It's okay. I've been there. Although I've been down before, I'm not sure if quite to this extent, this time my emotions took over 100%. I'd apologize for making people's lives miserable if I did, but I truthfully am not sorry so hence the lack of apologies. I can't apologize for something that I honestly don't know how I could have changed.

I think it's time for some serious changes in my life, and I need to actually make them and not just think about them. So, here are to all the possibilities that my life can be, and to all the possibilities that I can embrace and push forward. I'm tired of feeling like I'm staying in the same spot. I crave for growing, and learning and moving forward. Now is the time for it to happen, and so it shall.

xo
Ruth Natasha

Exam FIVE

2011-04-18T13:46:00.000-07:00

I AM DONE! YAY YAY YAY!!!

Hardest exam of my life I might add! It was out of 445 marks, took me three hours (exams are two hours at my school), and I was only the fourth person done at 12, he said people had until 12:30.

I honestly think he is a little insane. It's a 100 level History course, an elective for me I might add. The exam was 36 pages in length, I had 197 multiple/true and false questions, 30 fill in the blanks, 5 point form questions worth 20-30 marks, 4 short answer (1 page) questions worth 35-40 marks, and a full essay worth 85 marks. My hand was shaking by the end.

Sigh, I feel like everyone should get a 70% just for going through with it! He did tell me afterwards that I work very effectively, and that not a lot of people do and it's a good thing. So that was kinda nice... I actually appreciated the comment!

So yes, VERY happy to be done! Mandy took me out for a vegetarian celebration lunch afterwards, SO good! I'm dreaming about leftovers today! Also, I am working at NAIT for a full day today and tomorrow, and a few days next week that I want, so I'm really happy that I might be able to slowly catch up on my bills. With the wedding and parties/showers coming up on top of everything else it's been kinda crazy. But I'm trying to just go with the flow, because honestly, things always work out, I know that.

Love you all,
xo
rs

p.s: Check out this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diiL9bqvalo. My mom's co-worker Tammy heard on the radio it was one of the best 'bass' songs and she wrote me a sticky note to check it out. So sweet!!!

Exam Four

2011-04-16T15:57:00.000-07:00

Hey friends and family,

Well, BOMBED that test. I'm officially sleep deprived. All I could think about the entire exam was how tired I was, and how much stuff I have to do next week. And money. Last night I couldn't sleep, I kept tossing and turning thinking about what to do for Andrea's bridal shower and staggette. I'm so behind on sleep that I can't even sleep when I try... prime example, the present. I just sobbed in bed for a good 30 minutes, and can I sleep? Nope.

I'm getting really frustrated, and really discouraged about school in general. The marks I got back all ready aren't as good as I know they could be. I guess I just don't put in the effort I should. I don't know what to do to change my life. Something is gonna have to happen. I won't be accepted into the four year program, let alone a masters program at this rate. Maybe I should consider interior design...

Anyways, one exam left. Can't come soon enough. Well, I'd like more time to study, but that's not happening. Bah.

xo Ruth

Exam Three

2011-04-15T11:19:00.000-07:00

'Ello friends,

Man, I am officially getting WIPED. Ruth Stewart es muy cansado. Y no quiero estudiar nunca más. AKA, I am tired, and I don't want to study anymore!!! Poo poo exams, poo poo.

This is legit how I was feeling before I left for my exam this morning. See the fear/anxiety/pained look on my face? Yep, that's right, I don't recall ever feeling so unprepared for an exam before, which was unfortunate.

However, despite my nervousness, I think it went quite well. I was able to memorize something that was worth 20 marks before the exam, and I'm pretty sure I did quite well on the first 60 marks of the exam. As for the last 40....I did so so. We'll see I suppose, but I'm happy to report I definitely did NOT fail!

Now to study for my religion exam that's at 2 p.m. tomorrow. Good luck ME!

xoxo
Rutta

Exam TWO

2011-04-13T09:33:00.000-07:00

Good Morning lovely people,

Soooo Psychology 324, done and DONE! FINALLY! I am sooooo relieved to be rid of this stupid class. I've realized I don't learn very well from instructors who like to 'go with the flow'. I need structure - stay on schedule with what is planned. This professor was very wishy washy to me, and it drove me insane. As much as I like to think that I am a go-with-the-flow kinda gal, the sad sad truth is I'm not. I love plans. I love planning. Ahhh, *beam of light* it all makes sense now...Thanks Dr. Steffler for helping me learn something new about myself today :)

I'm sure I've said this before to you all, but when I'm studying, if I can't focus and stay awake, I got to bed and set my alarm for 3, 4, 5, 5:30 a.m., etc....Yes, you can call me crazy! I agree it's crazy. I explain it as a 'learnt forcing of self'. It seems to work for me, so unless I find another way, I shall stick with it. This morning I woke up at 5:00. I will say the only benefit to being awake at that time is seeing this:

So lovely! It started my day out beautifully! Now to get my butt in gear for my two history exams, and religion!

Love you,

Ruthella

2011-04-11T14:45:00.000-07:00

Hello All!!!

So exam one is DONE. Too bad I only hard core studied two of the four essay topics assigned. When only two of four topics are going to be on the essay, one MUST hard core study three!!!! Poop on a stick. Hopefully I still manage a 70%? We'll find out! Wish me luck for Wednesday!

p.s: Andrea's invites came in today! Super fast! So gonna get the labels done tonight, AND the pub called me back! Making my birthday event asap! YAY!

xo Rutta

Love notes

2011-04-09T14:44:00.000-07:00

Good Morning Everyone,

Hope you are having a super day thus far! It's bright and sunny in Edmonton, and I actually have my deck door open while I study for my sociology final! I love it. The sun makes me so happy. As I was studying I was looking for some page tabs in my pencil case, and I found this little love note from my friend Andrea:

I honestly have no idea when she got it in my pencil case, but every time I go to get page tabs I see it. It's so sweet, I don't know if I will ever throw it away!

Since we are on the happy track, I've been feeling a little whatever about my birthday this year (impossible you say?). I'm a pretty big fan of my birthday, of birthdays in general, I think everyone needs to have that one day where it's all about them! It seems that every weekend is already filling up with things to do for different occassions (don't feel bad Andrea, you're wedding by far vetos my birthday!!!!), and some people are travelling etc... Also, my birthday falls on Mother's Day this year, and my church is having a big Mother's Day picnic. Which, yes will most likely be a lot of fun, who doesn't like picnics and games? It's just not a "me" day. How selfish does that sound? I woke up thinking, jeez Ruth you need a better attitude about the picnic, Mother's need their day where it's all about them too! I think the last time this happened was on my Sweet 16th, and me and my mom both got expensive rings. Actually now that I think about it, a diamond ring might make the day balance out! Ha! Kidddddinggg!!!

Anyways, today I'm feeling pretty good about my birthday. The only day my party can be is May 6th, so I think I'm just going to run with that. If people can't come, they can't come, and that's alright! I've contacted a pub to see what their party packages are like, and hopefully I will hear from them soon. I also decided because the sun is making me just so dang happy, that I think I shall like to have a BBQ here before hand. I will supply all the dead animals for people to chow down on, and I will bring my own veggie burger. The idea excites me, so that is good!

Well, hopefully you all are enjoying your weekend. Hopefully not "studying" like me! (I am studying, I just realize how silly that sounds when I'm clearly typing away on here!)

Love you all,

xo Ruthie

Last Day!!

2011-04-08T11:40:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone!!!

So today is the last day of classes! YAY! And I finished my last paper of the semester! Say whhhhaaaaaaaaaa. I could not be happier!

Now for my finals which start on Monday. I have Sociology on Monday, Psych on Wednesday, History 261 on Friday, Religion on Saturday and History 112 on Monday! This semester is so strange because we don't get a break at all between classes and exams. BAD planning Concordia, bad planning! Ah well, the sooner the 18th hits the better. Then to start my spring course....

Oh life, how I love thee,

xoxo Ruthella

Andrea

2011-04-07T14:12:00.000-07:00

Hello readers, Well this post is dedicated to a very special person who is very dear to my heart. I was going through the images I have on my blog because heaven forbid I ever replicate the same photo! And I came across a post I had put forever ago about how much I desperately wanted to hear a song with my name in it! To my surprise my sister was able to find two songs that had the name Ruth in it, and my beautiful friend Andrea posted this youtube link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWMBcoJjaSQ . On my comments she had said she couldn't find the words but it had my name in it! Now, if you all have watched it by now, you will see that Andrea herself made her own version of Hey There Delilah by the Plain White T's, and put MY name in it!! I haven't watched it in so long, and I just did. Let me tell you, the exact same reaction welled up in me. I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face even if I wanted too! I got all teary eyed, and giggly. I'm such a child sometimes. I think it's so funny but when I'm really excited I squealed and jumped up and down and sometimes clap my hands. Such a girly girl. :) It's moments like that where I feel pure joy. And I love it. It makes me forget everything that's going on and just focus on the moment of absolute happiness. So thank you Andrea.

And I love you! xoxo Ruthie

A little of this and that

2011-04-05T17:41:00.000-07:00

Enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRtydnIycCY

It doesn't fit!

2011-04-04T16:43:00.000-07:00

Ello ladies and gents,

How are you doing? It has been QUITE the week I tell you... I slept a grand total of 9 hours between Monday-Wednesday trying to get a paper done that was due on Tuesday. So definitely got -5% off that paper. I will get it back tomorrow, we'll see how I did. Apparently he is a hard marker...

On Tuesday I found out that my ex was gay, which was a huge shock to me. It's been interesting adjusting to that. We were able to get together on Saturday evening and fell in an old routine of 'us' near the end of the night. It felt really normal, but with the whole news I had received it felt very different still. I had been on a bit of an emotional roller coaster. Seeing him stirred up old feelings I had had and made me realize I was using my excuse of not seeing him as a sense of closure. But since things have actually been good. The more I think about it, the more I realize how we had connected on a deep level, and I don't think it was by chance. I truly believe that we are going to be able to be friends, which is what we both want. It may sound strange to some of you, but unless anyone has actually been in this situation I don't know if any one's advice or input really matters. I am staying true to my feelings and gut and I am going to continue to follow them. If I feel like it is too much, then I will continue following what I believe is best and stop communication again. I think that ultimately I have to weigh the pros and cons of relationships in general, and if it feels like more of a con than pro, I need to make decisions based on that. But I'm feeling really positive about it all and a lot happier, so that is good!

On even more recent news, today I had the honour of hanging out with my dear friend Andrea. Even though I am not the maid of honour, Andrea and I got the ball rolling on her bridal shower. She had found adorable invitations online, and we just had to get them:

Due to the fact that the manufacturers are based in the states, we had to order them today so that we were able to get them by the 15th of April, and then I can get them mailed out. It was quite the ordeal getting a go for the date of April 30th from her mother, her fiance's mother, her maid of honour, my father to use the church facilities, and Mandy (she has something planned for my birthday that evening! YAY ME!). But we got it sorted out, and now the ball is rolling. Her wedding is May 21st, and her maid of honour has been a little MIA lately, so we needed to take charge! Also, we went and picked up my dress! I'm pleased to announce that my -15 pounds has really had an affect on the dress fitting. I knew I would need alterations, I just didn't realize it would be so much! I was pretty happy!

Side note: I bought 2 new pairs of sunglasses and a wallet which I was in need of both. The wallet more so than the sunglasses, since mine was ripped in several places and could no longer hold anything in it! Anyways, it's been a really good day, and I'm feeling really optimistic about stuff in general despite the papers and exams are that heading my way!!

Love you guys,

Ruthie

2011-03-28T16:31:00.000-07:00

Hello all, Here is an update on my life:

Spent half my weekend searching for books for my essay which is due tomorrow for my History 261 course. I basically tried to find ANY seven books that matched for one of the 25 topics we were given. In the process, I also got a library card for Edmonton Public Library. I feel very much like a true Edmontonian now! This is the topic I was able to find the most books on:

Went shopping with Miss Andrea for items to complete her wedding outfit ;) In the process I got a new iphone!

Yay, she's such a beauty! I just need a case!

I spent the remainder of Saturday cleaning my house for "Parent's lunch" on Sunday. Sunday was a great day for me, full of compliments that really boosted me! I got told by a lady in the church that her and her husband thought I had a beautiful voice and I sounded similar to Norah Jones! Ha! Such a great compliment!! Also, I fit into my skinny jeans again, and got asked if I was losing weight because my face was slimmer. All, 'small' things, but some days a girl just needs compliments!

After church was our Parents lunch, aka me and Mandy had both sets of parents over, minus Dean because he was sick :( They all said they liked the meal I made, so hopefully that was true ;) I made spaghetti squash with tomato sauce and shredded cheese. Mandy made them ground beef for their sauce. I also made potato spinach balls and we had salad. It was a healthy meal, I quite enjoyed it though!

As for today, it's been a poop day, I've been wiped all day, and needing to work on/start/finish this paper that is due tomorrow. I just made coffee, so it's gonna be a long night! I have one more major paper and three mini ones after this one, to do within the next two weeks. Man, these two weeks are going to be brutal! But I'll get through it!!

I also had a friend want to discuss things about God with me, and it was totally terrible, and I felt really defeated afterwards. I just could not get anything out and I felt like I was almost being attacked. And the more questions that came at me, the less answers I had. It was just awful and left me feeling really sad and bad. I just hope that I get another opportunity where words actually come out of my mouth!

Anyways, that last bullet doesn't take away all the good from the weekend. Love you guys,

xoxo

p.s: check out this band my sister showed me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXwYJyrKK5A

Young Melody Binnie

2011-03-25T08:10:00.000-07:00

Hello friends and family,

So I was kinda lazy yesterday and didn't feel like straightening my hair so I just diffused it and made it big and curly. Let me tell you right now, I couldn't get over how much I looked like my mother!!!! It's like a time warp! I took this picture and sent it to her at work. She wrote back that she had never fully seen the resemblance until now! Lucky me, my mom's a beaut!

xoxo
Ruthie

Love

2011-03-24T12:40:00.001-07:00

“Love is a temporary madness; it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of eternal passion. That is just being in love, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two.” ~Louis de Bernieres

I gave this quote to someone once. It's been over a year since I've seen it though, and I just happened to 'stumble' upon it today. It leaves me breathless. I love it so much, this is love to me. When I'm old and grey, I want to know that my roots are so entwined with someone else that it would seem crazy to part. I want a love that has deep roots.

xoxo

Ruth

I love myself today

2011-03-23T14:24:00.000-07:00

So two things:

I can't remember if I've used this image already, but I can't seem to find it in my old posts, so if I have, bear with me!
Also, I'm not sure if I've officially exclaimed it on here, but I've decided to become a vegetarian!

It's been an interesting ride thus far. I've found a ton of websites with different recipes that I want to try, but my lack of organization seems to keep me from planning my meals a head of time, to know exactly what to buy from the store. My friend made me a dish on St. Patrick's day that was really delicious, she had cooked chicken for it, but I just didn't put any on my plate. It was egg noodles and an assortment of veggies, and a sauce made from peanut butter and Catalina dressing. Sounds disgusting I know, but I loved it! I actually really dislike peanuts in my meals, such as salad so I was super hesitant to try it, but I actually wanted seconds! I'm going to try to make it tonight for me and Mandy (if she wants it!), and hopefully it goes well. If anyone is interested in trying it I can let you know how to make the sauce. It's just equal parts apparently, medium heat on the stove. I'm going to try it with 1/3 of each at first and go from there if I need more or not!

As for the picture above, since I've become a vegetarian, I've just been trying to make healthier choices in general. Not just taking out meat, but not buying bread anymore, making healthier choices while shopping/cooking etc. I've lost/kept off 11 pounds which has been really exciting for me. I've basically stayed the same weight for years and years, I don't lose weight easily and I don't gain it either. My pants are all too big for me now, which is exciting but super annoying. I finally understand what people mean now when they say they hate that, cause you don't want to buy a new pair just in case you lose more, but during that time you feel like a hobo!

I've been discovering that just by eating better I don't hate parts of myself anymore. I'm not focused on this image in my head that I need to look, I'm just enjoying feeling better. I think it's really important, because we can get so down on ourselves about certain parts of our appearance and desperately wish we looked like something else, and in the meantime we are only doing ourselves harm not good.

So, here is to the journey of loving yourself, let's all accept the things we can't change, and learn to appreciate ourselves for who we are!

Rutta

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKjwRzutjx0

Blog fail

2011-03-22T08:49:00.000-07:00

Darling friends and family,

Sorry for my absence! The honest truth as to why I haven't been writing, is that I've been feeling too negative lately. For a couple weeks there it just felt like everything was going wrong, and I was barely holding on. I was getting so angry with everything, and didn't see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Of course things have gotten better though, which is life right? Just when you think this is how crappy things are going to be forever, something gets better. My income tax came in freakishly fast and I was able to make my $200.00 deposit for my 3rd year courses. Despite failing a third exam, I brought my History mark up 27% from my last exam. My prof actually wrote me a note thanking me for my effort, it was kind of sweet. So I will be going into my final exam with a better grade, and I have a better idea of what he expects from his exams.

I've gotten more work from NAIT, not a huge amount, but enough to keep me busy for last week and this week, which is progress. I will hear back by tomorrow I believe, if I get the summer job at NAIT, so I'm really hoping that works out. It would be fantastic! Also, Amanda's mom offered to pay for my plane ticket to Ontario for the wedding with her airmiles, I just need to cover the extra tax, but that was a huge relief. My income tax money has been slowly paying for the things I was behind in and will need to pay for the future, aka my spring course, visa bill, bills in general, GROCERIES! I spent $105.00 on groceries last night! Isn't that ridiculous? But I was out of things like contact solution and cheese etc, things that add up so quickly. It's just nice having food in my fridge.

Anyways, I set up my schedule for next year, and let me tell you right now, I have never felt more relieved and just solid in my decision before. I decided to prolong my third year an extra semester. I was stressing about it before, but now that I've officially made the decision, I know it was the right thing to do. I've been saying I'm trying to do too many things at once, and do them all well, and yet it's resulting in me doing some things average and some things terribly. I can't live like that. So, all of next year I will only have classes on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I will hopefully be able to find a job I can work on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Also, I am taking only 4 courses in the Fall and 3 in the Winter.

I am happy for this and hopefully this next year will be a lot less stress!! Can you believe it, I'm going into my third year of university? I'm so old :)

Love you all,

xoxo

Ruthie

When it rains it pours!

2011-03-09T16:35:00.000-08:00

Hello ladies and gents,

Man oh man, so cliche I know, but seriously, when it rains does it ever pour in my life? It's so funny that in a matter of days I can go from such a high to a state of wtf is happening, I don't know how to possible get out of this situation!

I've realized due to my lack of money managing skills back in the fall, I've basically screwed myself over for this semester. But I wasn't counting on the lack of hours that I'm (not) getting from work. And I keep asking myself if I should get another part time job, but I honestly feel like if I add another item to the mix, I might start pouring over the rim.

I have a paper of sorts due tomorrow, a mini-discussion paper due Friday, 2 exams on Monday and one exam on Tuesday. On top of that, my dear friend's extravagant birthday party is on Friday which I've been helping her organize for over a month now! AND on top of that, my brother and his lovely girlfriend are coming up for the weekend! I haven't seen her since November, him since Christmas. So, to keep my head on straight I've been trying to manage my time (unsuccessfully I might add) and stay on top of things. I've realize the brother portion of the equation will only end up equaling a few hours on Sunday before I jet off to study. Also, the birthday party will equal of me most likely not partying too hard or staying up too late, because I will be getting up to go to a library and leave the sleeping people in my house, quite early on Saturday morning. As for all the exams and papers, I am just going to have to do my best. And drink a heck of a lot of coffee.

Another fun little spin, is I made my appointment for my early registration (to get the classes I need) which will be on Tuesday of next week in the morning. The fun bit to add is that I need to pay my $200.00 deposit BEFORE my appointment. Because the $80 I have to last me the entire month is sufficient enough for that also, right. Sigh. I seriously think money and school is going to give me an ulcer. I was talking to a girl at school today who was blown away by the above, and told me her schooling is paid for by her parents, and she lives at home. Oh how life is so much easier for some.

Anyways, I've been praying like no tomorrow that $200.00 will magically come to me, and I will be able to register for my courses. Also, that I won't fail anymore exams, because I really don't think I could deal with that right now.

The endless battles of a student,

xoxo
Rutta

Advice

2011-03-08T15:51:00.000-08:00

I think advice is such a funny thing.

I was talking about a situation with a friend the other night, and all the advice she was giving to me on behalf of the other person was 100% applicable to her own life! I kept thinking with each statement, man don't you see that that is for YOU!

On the same note, I spent Sunday at one my friend's parent's house, with a little group of friends. I can honestly say this couple's marriage is one of two that I truly admire. The other marriage is one that I have not personally seen in action, but have heard the wife only speak of amazing things about her husband and their relationship.

The only thing about this marriage that I was admiring on Sunday was that it is a second marriage. Which scares me. How is it that out of my entire life, and all the examples of marriage and love that I have witnessed, only two marriages stand out in my head? One being a second marriage, where they have learned from their mistakes the first time.

I'm so intrigued with marriages and how couples function and work as a unit, and just relationships in general. Spending the evening with this couple, hearing them praise each other, and how much they love each other and love spending time together made me feel hope. Even if they have learned from their mistakes from their first run, that doesn't mean I can't learn FROM them, and make my first run through just as healthy and successful as their second run, right?

In reference to my comment about my friend not hearing her own advice. I think sometimes we can't hear the advice we need because we aren't willing to. Change is hard, it's true. Sometimes advice isn't welcome, we don't want to hear it, we don't feel we need it, or we don't respect the person who is giving us the advice. I believe if you can find an example of something you want in your life, and you are able to soak up any knowledge from that person, whether you feel you need it or not, I think it can become a beautiful thing. We are all here to learn and grow and love. So, let's learn from people who have made mistakes and have grown and learn from them, and let us try to not make those mistakes. That is what mistakes are for, to realize what went wrong, and fix it!

So I put that out there to you, if you don't respect a person giving you advice in a situation where you need it, look elsewhere where there is respect so you can really learn and become a better person for it.

xoxo
Ruthie

What a friend...

2011-03-02T21:22:00.000-08:00

Good evening ladies and gents,

So, today was a really crappy day for me. It started off just busy, early morning, started studying/work right off the bat, went to psych (boring, I hate that class), went to History (got back an exam, and oh great, FAILED!), had a break which I used to study more, went to Religion (got back an exam, oh goodie FAILED for a second time in one day!). So yeah, not good. Not good at all.

I know this sounds retarded, but I don't fail school related things. Even if I half ass things, I usually can come out with a 70 at least. Possible high 60s. But History, I really studied for that exam, it's 25% of my mark, and I got a 47%. Only 4 people passed that exam, two of which were in the 50s. Honestly, I am terrified I'm going to fail this course. I can't drop out, it's not even an option. And Religion, well I studied for that one too, but after writing it I knew I did crap, so it wasn't a huge surprise,but it just sucks seeing '45% F' written on the bottom of anything in bright red ink. Evil red ink. Gr.

On top of that, I haven't been given any work from NAIT for 2 weeks. So, I won't be getting any money in the middle of March. It's just one stress on top of another. I'm trying to do my best in everything which seems to be resulting in me doing poorly in everything.

Anyways, I came home from school and worked out, then had dinner, then a bath. Mandy came home when I had a bath, and I'm going to be the first to admit, sometimes I just can't stand talking to the people I live with. When I lived with my family, I was the same way. They are the first to get the brunt of any issue or problem especially if I had a bad day. I had texted Mandy earlier to warn her of the fact that I was having a terrible day and needed space. So, after my bath, I was feeling really awful, crying a bit, and just rehearsing all negative things in my head. So in my 'despair', I bundled up and walked to the grocery store in -34 weather. What did I buy? Cheesecake, mini-eggs and a magazine. That is basically what my life came down to in those 30 minutes. Pathetic much? You know, blow some money that I've been savagely saving because I have none, and eat crap when I just worked out. Good idea Ruth.

As I was standing in line, eyes full of tears, realizing what an idiot I was, guess who text messaged me? Mandy! In my head, my roommate - the exact person I want to not have to talk to. But, I seem to have forgotten that Mandy, before being my roommate, was my friend. Her text said "I'm outside save on when you're finished". It took everything in me to not break down at the till while the poor girl was ringing in my items. Possibly thinking, yeesh, this girl must be desperate. Cheesecake and mini-eggs at 7:30 on a Wednesday night while crying!

I walked outside and Mandy was there, waiting. She must have followed me after I left. As I had left the house she said "are you leaving"? And I just mumbled "I'm going to the grocery store", and rushed out the door. I couldn't believe she was there. I got in the car and silently tears just ran down my face. We drove back to our place and she said "do you want to talk about it"? So I started to explain and started to sob a bit and she just held my hand and listen.

What a friend. I have no words. After that, I felt so much better, and we watched a few of our 'Wednesday" shows together and ate my crappy food, and I laughed and was a lot more cheerful.

So thank you Mandy. For being my friend above being my roommate, and understanding what I'm going through. I appreciate it more than you know.

xoxox
Ruth

A few quotes:

2011-03-01T14:00:00.000-08:00

Think. Ponder. Smile:

You can do anything, but not everything.
—David Allen

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.
—Ambrose Redmoon

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
—Lao-Tze

Work like you don’t need money, love like you’ve never been hurt, and dance like no one’s watching
—Unknown Author

Try a thing you haven’t done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third time, to figure out whether you like it or not.
—Virgil Garnett Thomson

Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
—Will Rogers

xo
rs

2011-02-27T00:16:00.001-08:00

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2Vj19N/theuglydance.com/%253Fv%253Dvddqzndthr

That one small thing...

2011-02-22T14:09:00.000-08:00

Happy Tuesday one and all,

Hope you are having a splendid day, some of you are back to work from yesterday's holiday, some have the day off. I hope either way, it's been a good day.

So, I've been doing a lot of 'soul' searching some might call it. Really digging deep into things in my past that have shaped me, things I want in my future, the type of person I want to be, things to strive for, removing things from my life that are destructive. It's been kind of hard, but every step of the way has made me feel like a better person. I've been loving learning things about myself, and getting rid of those things that are holding me back. I'm no where near I should be, but every step counts I believe.

Last week I had a professor speak a lot of sense into me. I mean, he was teaching a class of around 45, and my friends were teasing that they felt like they were in a marital counselling class, but I really love my Sociology of Families studies. I love hearing married people speak on things that make relationships work or not work. It helps me accept relationships from my past, and hopefully correct mistakes for my future.

This past week, he went up to our white board, and drew a small dot right in the center, sort of like the picture below.

He then asked what we saw. Everyone stated the obvious, a dot. He then asked what else do you see, and the class was silent; a little confused at the point he was trying to make. He then went on to this explanation:

The dot is that little thing you find annoying with someone. A mistake they made, in hurting your feelings, or forgetting to pick up the milk on the way home from work. It's that annoying sound they make when they are finished eating, it's the toilet seat being left up 6 out of 10 times. It's the problems, that aren't really huge problems. All of the sudden, that little thing is the only thing you can see. We exaggerate the issues into huge things. You can't see that there is this MAASIVE area all around the dot, all the viable, great things that are working and that make you happy. As humans, we always want to focus on the negative things. We like to pick, pick at things, pick things a part, just focus on the tiny little things that really are insignificant. Even if this board had 10 dots on it, look at the rest of the board, the rest of the white board. Why can't we focus on that?

Honestly, it might not sound profound to any of you, but it was a major thing for me. All of my past relationships flooded into my head, all the things that annoy me in having a roommate, things I used to fight about with my siblings or parents. How true is it that we focus on the negative? I'm sitting here staring at a cupboard door that ,I myself, left open, thinking about how it makes me SO annoyed when my roommate leaves cupboard doors open, but in the grand scheme of things, does it ruin my relationship with her? Does it make her a terrible roommate? Did a bit of my world just die because I can see inside a cupboard? No, absolutely not. Especially considering the fact that I just did it.

If we were able to just accept things of other people, and learn to not put all our effort and thought into those small dots, I think relationships could last longer, be stronger, and flourish. So, I put that out there, today, think about the small dots that you focus on, and try to let them go. Trust me, I'm going on six days of it, and it's a really good feeling.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1i5BUYCQRKQ

Love you all,

Ruthie

Exit please?

2011-02-16T16:16:00.000-08:00

Okay, make it to Friday, make it to Friday! Reading break cannot come sooner! Please feel less sick, please get more work.

I hope my university life is not a reflection of my future life. Gross.

Ruthie

What a day!

2011-02-15T13:55:00.001-08:00

Hello everyone,

So, I'm sitting here on my couch crying! Literally crying!

I felt off all day yesterday and finally at 2:00 a.m. my body took over and told me yep, you have the flu. I sure do hate throwing up :( So, after hardly sleeping all night, and feeling like poop all day (yes, I'm a couch potato today), I randomly decided to check my school email really hoping for my psychology paper mark.

And guess what! To my excitement it was up! I opened up the email, and I got a 85%! AND, it was a 5% deduction for being 1 day late, so technically my paper was a 90%. You have no idea how good that feels. I've been so discouraged lately with school and finances (I had to quit my hip hop lessons yesterday :( )and now being sick right when I have 2 exams and 2 papers left this week, that 85% really made my day. I started bawling on my couch because I was so happy and relieved.

What a silly thing, eh? A high mark for a paper makes me cry. I'm telling ya, this was the boost I needed.

Another really great thing was that Evanna surprised me with a single red rose yesterday evening with three helium balloons and some chocolates. It was so sweet. I really do have great friends. I even woke Mandy up at 4:30 this morning and she prayed with me because I was throwing up. Now that's a good friend, she didn't even complain once, and she had to work the entire day.

So despite the lack of energy, and my stomach being in knots, I feel hopeful. Things will be okay!

I love and appreciate all you guys,

Thanks for being such good friends,

Ruthella

Happy Valentine's Day!

2011-02-13T17:31:00.000-08:00

Hello dear loved ones,

I love Valentine's day! I know so many people have such strong feelings towards it either way, but I just think it's such a sweet day. The claim "I don't need one day to tell someone that I love them, I do that everyday" is so lame. Okay, yes, agreed, you should show the ones you love, that you actually do everyday, but I think there is something lovely in having a day to show them in an extra special way. It doesn't mean you have to spend hundreds of dollars, or any at all. Just take time to do something extra. Cook dinner, make a gift, write them a love note, all are cost-free!

And for all you fellow singles, don't be down on yourself for yet another year of single-hood. Remember this:

So, be nice to people today, show a little extra compassion, flash those pearly whites to all you see, and remember, today is a day about love!

I love you all,

xoxo
Ruthie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JErVP6xLZwg&feature=related

Deep Breath, life is good!

2011-02-12T18:27:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nhssMi2FtA&feature=related

I'm trying so hard

2011-02-11T08:15:00.000-08:00

Not a good start to my Friday. Not good at all. I'm so frustrated. Overwhelmed. Tired.

I don't know what to do. I've been working everyday for 2 weeks, been doing homework, trying to stay on top of it all. I'm involved in church, so that's every Sunday for half the day, every Thursday night, and if we have any special events, like this Friday, next Saturday. I'm doing hip hop on Monday nights now. I've been volunteering for a random Saturday once a month to go clean my church. It has to get done somehow right? I try to still see my friends, lord knows I want to see Ava, I haven't even seen her since Stephanie's surprise party, on the 31st of January.

I just checked my school email, and my psych prof finally posted my presentation grade. With a huge email attached. She marked us, then the two girls from my group marked me and I marked me. Make sense? So four marks, and she just took the average of those marks. So, of course, I look and the one girl who was difficult the entire time (oh and was the one who said, let's make sure we all give each other 5/5 for everything so we get a good mark, ah, yeah!), and I got a 4.25/5, 4.75/5 and then 5/5 out of the third item. So Kaylee gave me 5/5 on everything, so did I, but Morgan didn't. So that's nice. So, instead of an 82% I got a 78%. Great, I went down an entire letter grade. 30% of my mark.

Seriously, I am feeling really defeated. I have three exams coming up next week, 1 major paper, and a little paper. I need to do all the work I've been given and get in as many hours in this week as possible or else I won't be able to pay rent next month.

Basically, I don't even feel like I'm floating anymore. I'm just sinking. And stupid girl's grading me just basically pushed my head under the water.

I know, wah, cry baby, whatever. Stay calm and carry on, right Kyle?

xo
Ruth

2011-02-10T21:02:00.000-08:00

Tonight, I think everyone sucks. Everyone. Men, women, young and old. Jeez, obviously that isn't true. Oh Grey's Anatomy make me happy, then sleep!

Endless possibilities

2011-02-07T15:57:00.000-08:00

Hello friends and family,

Hope everyone is doing lovely! It's a Monday, but with the right attitude, Mondays can be lovely days. Today one of my friends started her nursing career, one went on a 'blind' date, one was stuck in Kamloops due to snow, and yet another had their car got towed because it wouldn't start. Always some pros, and always some cons. What did I do today you ask? Well, I registered for my Spring course (see money miracle below)! Yay for the getting into the class part, not yay for the six weeks of psychology stats. But, six weeks compared to 3.5 months? I'll take the 6 weeks, thankyouverymuch!!

So, I've been thinking lately about where I'm heading, you know the whole 3, 5, or 10 year plan. I was talking to a fellow student today who told me she was 20 and then told me her 10 year plan. I literally laughed. How can anyone possibly have a 10 year plan? It sounds insane to me. I don't even know what I'm doing one month to the next, let alone 10 years!! I have a bunch of decisions I need to make in the next few weeks. I've been putting them off, trying to just deal with the 'now' but in 3 weeks, registration for next year will be coming, and I need to know if I'm going back. Or if I'm going to Uganda for six months. I also need to figure out where I will be living. If the condo is being sold, if my rent will be going up, if I am going to have to move back home.

Too bad life doesn't stop for you to make decisions. As if everything come to a sudden halt, give me a few days to really figure everything out, make the decision, and life continue as it was. One thing I do know, is that I need to get more hours of work in, or else a few decisions are going to be pre-made for me real quick!

So here is the ever open abyss of life. So many possibilities. So many options, so many different paths to follow.

Love,
Ruthie

Enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kawmndmcCLc

Prayers answered!

2011-02-04T11:27:00.000-08:00

Hello ladies and gentlemen,

So I totally have a "praise report". For fellow church goers, that is a pretty common phrase but for those of you who do not attend church, that is what we say when someones prayers were answered and they want to share it with the church. It's an encouragement really.

So, this time last year (give or take a few months), I had been blessed in 'down' times when it came to money, and I was doing alright. Around the same time, me and an old out-of-town friend started talking again, and they were in a really tough place financially. So I had given them some money, not really thinking anything of it.

Well, this Monday I need $200.00 to register for my spring course, and since my bank account is consisting of exactly $100.59, which needs to last me two weeks, I was starting to well, freak out to say the least. I had talked to two or three close people about the whole issue and how I was stressed because if I was to borrow money, I wouldn't even know when I could repay them, since I'm basically working my butt off right now, to just get by. So I asked them to pray with me and believe that God will come through.

Well, that day this person from last year, that I loaned money to, randomly messaged me. We hadn't talked in probably 5 or 6 months. It was just casual chit chat at first and then they asked about school and stuff. Since we were pretty open about money I didn't even think it was weird and just told them about having to get a job to pay for everything, and things were really tight but I'd make it work somehow, like I always do. And they said that they could help me out, that's what friends do, help each other and I helped them in a really bad time. I just brushed it off because I didn't want to go back and forth giving each other money, it seemed weird.

But as the hour passed and we kept chit chatting I got this nagging feeling in my stomach like, this isn't a coincidence Ruth. So I messaged them back saying actually... I'm being stubborn. I've been worried and stressed all day because I need money for school for Monday etc...anyways, they sent me money. They asked how much and I just said whatever, even $20.00 was more than I had. An hour later my email alerted me that I had an email money transfer waiting for confirmation, of $150.00. Needless to say I was speechless. I've heard of God answering people's prayers for stuff like that, but I've never seen it so....perfectly in my life before. It was defiantly encouraging and uplifting. I called all the people I had talked to earlier and told them.

I'm blessed, and loved and God is just....really amazing.

xo
Ruth Stewart

So true!!

2011-02-03T13:18:00.000-08:00

This is so true! I had to post it!!

Cleanse

2011-02-02T14:29:00.000-08:00

Hello all,

How is it going? So, as some of you know I am on a sort of 'cleanse', a detox of sorts. My diet consists of vegetables, vegetables and more vegetables. Oh, and the odd meal with Salmon. I actually quit enjoy it. It's very stretching for me in the fact that I have to actually prepare food. I can't just grab something from my cupboard (which is how I've been living for a long time now). I've been taking some of the recipes and making dishes of my own. I made a really good dish last night consisting of: broccoli, yellow peppers, onion, green beans, carrots, zucchini a little bit of fresh oregano and thyme, and then alfalfa sprouts to top it off. I put a little bit of water in a deep frying pan, and covered them for about 10 minutes, drained the water, added organic soya sauce, fried them for a bit in that, and then put them in a bowl with the alfalfa sprouts. It was delish!

I have two favourite snacks/ lunch meals. One: red cabbage leaves, with organic Dijon mustard on them, topped off with goat cheese. Roll 'em up and nom nom nom. Yum! Two: sliced tomatoes, with oregano, thyme and goat cheese.

Who knew this little guy could produce such yummy food!

I'm continually surprised by the foods that I'm enjoying, and the things I start craving! I am definitely feeling great, my body never feels sick after I eat, like I have felt my entire life. And I'm losing weight which is always positive. Overall, it's been a really great improvement in my lifestyle.

Cheers to feeling healthy,

Rufus

Something about this...

2011-01-31T22:12:00.000-08:00

There is something about this picture that makes my insides happy. Just staring at it - I feel calm. How strange is that. The placement of the pictures, the rug, the red pillow, the light fixture, the house has chaos and order, it seems so fresh and clean, stable almost.

I know it sounds strange that an image of a room can do that to me, but it does. Maybe I'm going into the wrong field! Hmmmm...

On a totally different note, I received this email from my cousin yesterday:

Hey Ruth,
how are you these days? I just wanted to let you know I had a really vivid dream last night where I was in a bookstore and I came across a novel that you had written. I was surprised but your dad was there and he said you'd written a lot. I saw a big section of your books, including some really thick ones. Needless to say, I was very impressed. Anyway, if you've ever thought about writing, maybe this was a sign :)
I'm sick at the moment so I'm having vivid dreams, which at least makes being sick a little fun. Have a good weekend!

I thought it was so interesting... I've always enjoyed writing, and often have wished I was more skilled with the English language. I've had dreams also where I had written novels, but in reality I just think the task seems so impossible, it's hard for me to even comprehend doing it now.

But, I love the random message, at least it's got something flickering inside me!

xo
Rutta

Happy 30th Stephanie!

2011-01-30T18:50:00.000-08:00

Happy 30th Birthday dear big sister of mine,

Love,

Your mini YOU

Auntie Ruthie MAIL

2011-01-27T17:18:00.000-08:00

Hello ladies and gents,

Look what I got in the mail!!!!!!

That's right, it's address to Auntie Ruthie Stewart! I know I know, I thought it just best to sharpie my address out, just so all my stalkers can't find me (ha!). Look at what was inside:

Oh how I love my sister's creative abilities, and oh how I love my niece. What a silly girl!

xoxoxo

Muah!

Auntie Ruthie

Puddles

2011-01-26T14:21:00.000-08:00

Today I walked home from school with a perma-grin, jumping over puddles. Listening to this song: www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZJJiW1z3QY . By the time I arrived at my apartment gate and stared at the slushie ocean in front of me, I realized there was no turning back. My feet were soaked anyways, so I walked through the parking lot with water covering the entire foot of my boots! Just like my psychology professor stated today: "sometimes it's good to just let your inner child out"!

Ruthie

I'm loved!

2011-01-24T21:18:00.000-08:00

Hello ladies and gents,

So what is new with me you might ask? Well my new "office supplies" is my reply! A few weeks ago, there was a discount at Staples for teachers, so I used Mandy's teacher connections to my advantage, and went shopping! I bought myself a much needed white board for my room! I've been wanting a half cork board/half magnetic white board, but it had to be quite large. Mandy ended up spotting this beaut - the surrounding frame has a strip of cork board material. Yay! And those two black spots... yep, you guessed it, magnets! Yay me! Evanna put it up on Thursday (I don't know if I am capable of all that measuring and drilling...it looked difficult), I haven't used it for it's true purpose besides doodling flowers and hearts, ya know, typical Ruth art.

Also, I received a lovely present that said "Merry Christmas Ruth" on Friday, when I went to NAIT. Will you look at that beauty! And not my face, I mean look at all those POST-IT NOTES! Jeez, Erin Hannah you are the best! They are displayed nicely on my desk. If you look closely enough you can see them in the upper right corner (the black on black is hard to see!)

Anyways, new office supplies equals a happy happy Ruthie!

Love you guys,

xoxo

Ruthella

Bridesmaid adventure

2011-01-21T16:08:00.000-08:00

Hello ladies and gents,

So as most of you know, I am in two weddings this summer. One is in May for my friend Andrea, and the other one is in July for my friend Amanda! I haven't gotten a dress yet for Amanda's wedding, but I've officially ordered my dress for Andrea's!

The colour scheme for this wedding is yellow, so with the follow images, imagine the coloured parts as yellow! This is the dress that I ordered:

The other bridesmaid and the maid of honour ordered the following dress:

The maid of honour will be wearing the dress strapless however, and the other one will be wearing it as a halter style. So, the dresses will all for the most part look the same but with different straps going on. Make sense?

Fingers crossed it looks alright on me, they didn't have a sample that I could try on (sample sizes were too small!). Oh other thing, I had to order a size EIGHTEEN WIDE! That's to fit my bust. She's like so.....you are going to have to alter the rest of the dress, sorry. But if we don't get it that large it won't fit you across your bust. LOL. Then she says "well at least Gods blessed you". HA! Blessed me with a giant pain in the butt!! ;)

Yay for being a bridesmaid! Let the partying begin ;)

xoxo

Miss Ruthella

Oh History...

2011-01-18T13:35:00.000-08:00

Hello all,

So. First day of classes, what does my History prof say? Unless you are a superhero, or a member of the CIA you shouldn't have anything important enough to text message during his lectures.

So, today we watched a movie for 30 minutes, so what do I do? Text message.... and look what I come home to find on my email:

Subject: Your Status

Hi,
I need to confirm if you are a superhero, medical doctor, pillar of the community, or international figure, etc. that requires special access to information during my lectures.
Please speak to me before Thursday's lecture.

All the best,

My reply:

Hi,

No, I'm not. I'm sorry about that. Do you want me to see you in your office?

Ruth Stewart

His reply:

Hi,
thanks for the clarification.

All is well.

Well, don't I feel like a piece of poop on a stick that has been thrown on the middle of the street and every car has hit me. A bit dramatic indeed, but man, he sure got his point across. I'll never be doing THAT again.

xo
Superhero rs

Girls night!

2011-01-17T08:06:00.000-08:00

Hello all,

I hope you all had a lovely weekend. Hopefully hibernating in your houses with warm blankets and mugs full of hot chocolate and tea!

Saturday night was the highlight of my weekend. I had other good things happen, but Saturday night was my sister night, just us Stewart girls. Adam was exiled to the living room on the main floor with his xbox, and Stephanie, Heather, Ava and I all hung out in the living room upstairs! We played with the baby, tried to get her to calm down (she was pretty fussy, estrogen overload perhaps?), chatted about life, boys, ya know the usual ;), got some pizza and watched a movie.

It was just so nice sitting with my sisters and hanging out. No, I'm older than you or younger than you, just like friends hanging out. It's funny when we are together to notice the things that we do that are the same. Silly things too! Stephanie said something to Ava as she was being put in her jolly jumper, and we all realized it was a lyric to a song at the exact same time, so they both started to sing it and I started to dance. It was so cute! And we all have these really loud laughs! Stephanie does this fake, obnoxious laugh to Ava, and she doesn't even flinch! Only a select few have been graced with my different retarded laughs! I like that our laughs are kinda the same...

Anyways, I just wanted to say I love you sisters! Thanks for hanging out for a few hours together, it was really great!

xoxoxo
Much love,
Ruthie

Negative Nancy

2011-01-14T17:33:00.000-08:00

Oh my goodness, I have had a seriously terrible day. Rides bailed/didn't work out, I had to cab to school, and then wait for over two and a half hours for another to get me afterwards. I would have walked but I was relying on the rides so I didn't dress properly for the "feels like -37 weather". I did a terrible job on a written assignment I handed in. My classes were just stupid today. I Read something that hurt me, sent an impulsive message that I regretted, got a response, felt even worse. I freaking am hating men right now. Every single one of my exes are the same. Why do I do that to myself? I seem to attract men who think they want me but don't actually because something else in their life is more important so in the end I am alone. Mom says it means they aren't the right one, but it makes me just feel worthless. I am sticking to my guns and not getting involved for a year. I've made that statement but it is happening. I honestly don't have anymore energy to give to a boy. They suck. The slogan Boys suck, throw rocks at them. Yep, basically my life motto right now.

I'm such a mess between wanting to punch someone and continue to sob my heart out.

And to make it even better, not one of my 'friends' was at school, or at least in sight today. So I went through the day feeling down and alone.

I cannot wait for this day to be over. Please end. Please.

This semester...

2011-01-12T18:05:00.001-08:00

Hello ladies and gents,

Hope you are all just splendid on this freezing, white Wednesday evening! I'm currently sitting on my couch, waiting for my friend Erin to arrive for a cup of tea and a much needed catch up session! But I thought in the mean-time I would fill you all in on my current semester and how it's going thus far. I've actually been dying to explain each class to someone and haven't known who to choose for an audience, so this way, if you want to continue reading you can, if not, there is that small "x" in the upper right (or left if you are using a mac) corner and you are more than welcome to click it. I promise, I won't be offended!

So here is a little breakdown of my class as I know them currently:

Psychology 324 (Adult development and human ageing): Well, this class is not what I expected so far. I actually am not enjoying it at all, which is a huge bummer because it is my only psych class. We have to do a presentation for an entire period in groups of 3-4. My group is going on the 31st of January. And then three days after that we have to hand in a 8 page paper on the same topic as our presentation. It turns out that just how it falls, we actually have a midterm right in the middle there. So Jan 31st presentation, Feb 2nd midterm, and Feb 3rd paper due. So I will have 50% of my mark done by Feb 3rd. How crazy is that?? But yeah, all she's talked about is learning styles so far and made us have a big class discussion on the definition of Development and Maturity. I'm just waiting for her to start teaching... I'm not a fan of class discussions. :(

History 112 (The modern world): I'm actually really enjoying this class. It's my first History course in university. We've been talking about the French Revolution in class so far. My teacher seems to know a lot and seems passionate about it. It's a lot of note taking but I don't mind. I find I'm really learning a lot. I was scared because he called on me the first class, but he doesn't really call on people anymore, but who knows, perhaps he's planning his next attack soon!

Religion 248 (The Christian Tradition): So, I've only had 3 classes with this prof, and so far I'm pretty meh about the class. He was talking about something the other day for like 5 minutes that I found interesting. Other than that, I get lost in his constant referral to scripture in the bible and just language that I don't understand. Also, it's going to require the most work which sucks because religion is a required course. You must have three religious credits for every 30 credits in this university. This professor has these little discussion/comment papers that we have to write basically every week. So, it's just a lot because on top of those papers, we have 2 large essays, a quiz, midterm, and final. So, I definitely have to try to get more into this course. I was looking forward to it because I really wanted to learn things about my religion that I may have forgotten or just didn't know.

History 261 (Canadian History 1867- Present): This class terrified me on my first class because he immediately memorized every one's name and called on me for an answer which I bumbled on and sounded stupid. Ah well. He called on me again today and I knew the answer so I felt smart. :) I find it really interesting too. This course is A LOT of note taking, like 4-6 pages average per class thus far. But once again he seems to know what he's taking about and enjoys it so I like that. Oh, and get this, I walked into class and tripped on some poor girls computer cord and like flew past three desks. It was hilarious! And then my alarm went off on my phone. Sigh. Which lead to some guy telling me I was a complete mess and another girl chatting with me. Yay for making friends from embarrassing moments!

Sociology 271 (The family): I LOVE this class so far! I had this prof for both of my intro courses in Soc, and now again. He is really sweet and I'm always giggling at things he says in class. He's too cute (in an old man way...ahem)! But I just find the whole subject of the family super interesting. I hope I continue to like it throughout the semester!

So, I know this is a lot to read, but for all of you wondering what I've been up to lately, this is it! School! And studying! I'm trying to get on top of all my readings right away or else I'm going to die of overload!

Current song I'm listening to, Fleetwood Mac - Never going back again http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0jMHu9jfNk

xoxo

Ruth Natasha

The next four months of my life...

2011-01-07T18:41:00.001-08:00

Well would you just take a gander on that!! What a BUSY schedule I have eh!! Now that I have attended each class once I know what I am in store for. And I will tell you right now, I'm in store for A LOT. It's gonna be brutal!!! I already have plans tonight with my history textbook! And tomorrow and the next day! I don't think I'll have one day for the next four months off from reading. Both of my history classes 'call' onto people and ask questions, it's terrifying! I've been called on in both! And I have a psychology presentation and term paper due Jan. 31st, and Feb 3rd. We are group #2, so I get 35% of my grade done within the first three weeks of the course. So intimidating! Other than that, I think sociology will be breezy, and Religion... well let me tell you about Religion! Jeez, that teacher has some HUGE expectations. I have a one page paper to write each week, three exams, and two term papers. What is this? I'm kinda nervous. My friend that I sat with, ran immediately after the class and dropped it. It is going to be very hard, but it's going to be stretching and I'm going to learn a lot about Christian Traditions, and I will get through it! It will be okay. I know it will. Just time to get my butt in gear!!

Here we go! Wish me luck!

xoxo
Ruthella

Schools back

2011-01-05T17:15:00.000-08:00

Hello ladies and gents,

How is everyone doing? Hopefully just splendid!! January 6th came fast fast fast! School is back!
I'm looking forward to this semester, hopefully it goes well. At least my brain is in gear for it, so I think that will help! I can tell already it's going to be a lot of work a head of me, but this semester is going to be different, and I'm going to keep on top of things. One huge plus is my classes don't start until 11:10 a.m. every morning. Yay me :) It's nice to have the option at least to sleep in a little bit, even though I have a feeling I'm going to be up early most mornings because I apparently get more done in the mornings. Who knew?

Anyways, I don't really feel like I have much to say, I know wit's a first eh?
Love you all lots,
Ruth
xo

In the end...

2010-12-30T15:10:00.000-08:00

Ruthie

Oh Sunday

2010-12-12T16:19:00.001-08:00

Hello all,

So, what a weeeird day! Firstly, I went to bed at 10 and didn't fall asleep till sometime after 3:00 a.m. I was sooo frustrated I was exhausted and just on reading overload and really needed the sleep. I knew I needed the sleep SO badly which I think was why I couldn't sleep at all. *insert not impressed face!* So, I ended up waking up at 7:40, having to leave by 8:15, so I had to rush to get ready, needless to say my hair did not get straightened, glasses were in place, and defiantly did not put effort into my makeup, but meh, who are we trying to impress really? Got to church drinking lots of coffee, knowing that I had a ton of work to do once I got home. Called and cancelled my waxing appointment for after church due to limited time/energy. Cut my finger washing dishes, how does the handle of a mug just rip off and slice open someones thumb. Jeez. Anyways, had some ... interesting news regarding Mike coming home for good next week. And yeah, let's just say, I'm a wee bit stressed with this final paper, exams, getting ready to go to Ontario and just everything. One day at a time, deep breath :)

So, as if the postal service realized I really needed a pick me up/de stresser, my phone rang. And low and behold, the mail man was holding a parcel with my name written on it at the front door! So I buzzed him in, and got my first Christmas present of the season! Who knew the mail came on Sundays? The gift was from my dear Lacey. Such perfect timing. I teared. Look at what I got:

She saw on my status that I needed motivational chocolate so she gave me one of my favs, toblerone! I don't even know if she knows its ones of my favs or not! And she made me this adorable frame. I laughed so hard because that was the picture I posted a few days ago of us when I was writing about my love for her LOL. It made me so happy and I felt so loved and just made me whole day feel a million times better.

After that Mandy came home and excitedly asked me for the 100th time if she could give me her gift. I finally caved and opened up the 'light' box she handed me. And guess what was inside? A pamphlet that said I had a pre-paid facial and pedicure for whenever I do so choose! She got one too so we will have a date together in the new year. She said I can even split them if I want two 'spa' days. So excited! It's funny to because she has apparently had this gift for a while, and I was whining the other day saying I wish someone would give me a spa present someday and that I'd always wanted a facial. Oh how she guessed right!

Yay for presents! I'm just tickled pink!

Love you girls,

Thanks for brightening up my day!

xoxo

Ruthie

Well then...

2010-12-11T17:46:00.000-08:00

So,

I've been thinking about mutual respect in relationships since last night as I could feel my sass coming out towards a certain gentleman. And I was thinking about my 'attitude' and 'tone' towards men that I've dated. Which got me to thinking, that I find I am sassy and give attitude towards men who I feel are treating me this way. It's like a reciprocal affect. I mean, I can be sassy in a flirty way, and then just plain snappy back. Basic girl mannerisms. I was reflecting on two guys in particular who I didn't want to be that way with them, but I felt like I had to because I didn't deserve to be treated or talked to the way they were treating/talking to me. Not that it makes it right, I mean really I should have just realized that they weren't right for me to begin with, but it's not uncommon for people to stay in abusive relationships whether they be physical or emotional.

Anyways, I was thinking about my actual one good relationship in the fact that I really don't ever recall being that way towards the person. But he wasn't that way towards me either. We just had a mutual respect. Which, probably sounds like a "yeah, duh!" thing to everyone else, but I don't really know if I realized that. I mean, I'm sure there were times if we argued that we had attitude or something, but when I look back that isn't what I think about. Which is actually all I can think about with those past two relationships. So, obviously this non-sass relationship wasn't all that and a bag of chips or it wouldn't be a past relationship, but it makes me kinda happy (and a wee bit sad) realizing that despite all the negative things I've heard about having too much attitude or speaking in a rude tone (yes yes I hear it from people, can you imagine? Sweet me hearing such things!), it's nice to know that I'm capable of a relationship with mutual respect. It kind of sparks hope I guess.

Also said gentlemen that I was giving sass to last night, told me today that my mood affects people (this isn't to say everyone person obviously, maybe just around certain groups of my friends?). He said people can walk into a room and be grumpy or overly happy and it won't affect everyone, but as soon as I walk into a room my mood is contagious. And I've seen this in a few examples but I guess I don't pay attention to it as much as certain people who are around me would. My reply to him was that it wasn't fair and I should be allowed to have grumpy days just like everyone else. Of course his reply, typical male, was that it didn't matter if was fair or not, that was the matter of fact and I needed to take from it what I will.

So, that's defiantly going to be something I will have to work on if it's really true. It feels like a lot of pressure to me, but I understand I guess. Oh, me and my attitude. Sometimes it's just not fun learning more and more things about yourself that you need to change and work on. But I gotta say, I just don't think I'd be the same Ruth without my sass!

Love you guys,
Thanks for putting up with all my Ruthness.

xoxo
Rutta

Let Go

2010-12-09T20:20:00.000-08:00

Let Go: Frou Frou http: //www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgcIpKL86Jk

drink up, baby down
mmm, are you in or are you out
leave your things behind
'cause it's all going off without you
excuse me, too busy you're writing your tragedy
these mishaps
you bubble wrap
when you've no idea what you're like

so let go, jump in
oh well, whatcha waiting for
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
so let go, just get in
oh, it's so amazing here
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown

it gains the more it gives
and then it rises with the fall
so hand me that remote
can't you see that all that stuff's a sideshow

such boundless pleasure
we've no time for later now
you can't await your own arrival
you've 20 seconds to comply

so let go, jump in
oh well, whatcha waiting for
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
so let go, just get in
oh, it's so amazing here
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown

Today I closed a door. Closing the door made me cry, tears of sadness, relief, happiness, a mixture of many emotions. Today I closed a second door. This door was long over due to be shut.

Today I took my life and my emotions into my own hands. I didn't think about how the ripple affect would come into play. Just my own life. So, no more writing my own tragedy, no more awaiting my own arrival as the song puts it. It's just me. And I'm not going anywhere, so now is the moment where I Let Go.

J'adore,
Miss Ruth Natasha Stewart
xo

My Lacey

2010-12-09T10:10:00.000-08:00

Hello all,

Happy December 9th/2010! This day doesn't hold anything special to me, other than it is the day that I wrote my Political Science exam this year, BUT I hope it's a great Thursday for everyone. It's Grey's Anatomy night so how could it NOT be a great day, right?

Anyways, I just wanted to post a blog about my dear friend Lacey. I don't know who of my readers knows her or knows about her but Lacey is my 'oldest' friend as I would say. I've moved quite a bit in my life (refer to previous posts...) and Lacey has been the longest most consistent friend that I've had! It's true love really!

We are so different which probably makes us work as friends. Her dad once told me he thought we looked like twins which is crazy talk because we are opposite: she's blonde (the red is fake! FAKE!!!!), green eyes, and has perfect straight teeth, nothing like me!

I met Lacey when I was in grade 5, but we became really close in grade 6. This was when I lived in Tumbler Ridge. We would walk home from school together and have sleepovers all the time! Her family became my 2nd family, her mean brother who always beat her (they are basically best friends now, oh how times have changed...) and her lovable mom and dad took me in! She had the best pantry of school snacks, and the Marshall family introduced the Stewart family to Fruit-os. Yum!

When I moved to Ontario, Lacey decided at the end of grade 9 to come to Ontario for a month in the summer to visit! It was like no time had passed. She had to put up with me and my first boyfriend. I wouldn't say it was all that bad, he did teach her how to dance all ghetto fabulous on a street one night. Yes yes...the masses were amazed that Lacey danced with a black man. Ha!

Over the years we've made trips back and forth to random locations to see each other, sometimes not speaking for months at a time. But she's is the kind of friend every time you do talk, it is like no time has passed.

I didn't lie, it really is true love. I adore Lacey and I love her heart so much. We can be so silly together and so serious and I always enjoy myself when we are in the same location at the same time. She's been such a great friend for so many years, and I wouldn't replace her for anyone!

So, Lacey, thank you for being such an important part of my life for so many years. Words can't even begin to express how grateful I am for you!

I love you!!

xoxox

Ruth

Girly Me!

2010-12-07T11:48:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone,

Hope your December is being filled with beautiful white sheets of snow, hot chocolate and twinkling lights!

Today I was supposed to go shopping with my sister but it didn't work out. I then called my mom, who had lunch plans and couldn't meet me, then I texted Evanna but she is working late and then I texted Mandy with no reply. Sigh, I just really don't like going alone. I know it sounds silly but I like to shop with other people for Christmas presents.....oh well. Today is my only day I can go, but I'm putting it off. Guess I really don't want to go eh? But it's either I go now or my family doesn't get presents. And that just wouldn't be nice :)

So, this morning I felt so blah when I woke up and after I showered I thought to myself, I should actually try to look 'nice' or just something different while getting ready. So that is what I did. And I felt more and more girly as I was getting ready. It was so nice. I don't know the last time I felt like that. LOL.

When I got my colours done, the lady told me that I should start wearing reds and pinks on my lips because "women pay hundreds of dollars to get lips like yours" so she said. But I just haven't had spare money to go buy something so unnecessary since, SO, dear dear Evanna randomly went and bought me red lip gloss! She brought it to me on Thursday and surprisingly it was in fact in colour list. Yay! But its RED and I'm still kinda chicken to wear it out. So I just put it on this morning for fun and curled my hair and put it up. Yay for being so girly today! Of course the moment wouldn't have been complete without a mini photo shoot (ahahahahah!):

Not gonna lie, it was fun to be all girly for no reason and just for fun for myself!!

Love you guys,
xoxo
Ruthella

Come and go

2010-12-04T13:06:00.000-08:00

Hello all,

Just my random thinking of the day:

The more I think about people who were at one time a big part of my life and who no longer are, I realize more and more, people come and people go.

The people who are supposed to be in my life are. And the ones who are no longer supposed to be, aren't. Plain and simple. Maybe just for a season, maybe for good.

Although not entirely comforting, it still is in a way.

It really is such a shame for those people who are no longer a part of my life though. I like to think I'm a good person to be around. Missing out my friends, missing out ;) hahaha

xoxo
Rufus

Poli sci...

2010-12-01T15:16:00.000-08:00

Hello all,

So, the following image contains all the definitions for my Political Science exam that I have written up, and therefore need to memorize! Jeez, it's gonna be a FUN time!

I've made up a study schedule. Yay me. So from Saturday till today I was studying Political Science, tomorrow begins Psychology until Saturday. Sunday to Tuesday is Biology, and Thursday (yes I skipped Wed, it's review for Poli Sci which is on Thursday the 9th) to Saturday is Sociology. And then Sunday and Monday are reviews for Psych and Soc, and then I have my exams. Blah blah blah I know, anyways, point is - I'm organized and loving it!

On another positive note, I just finished writing up my Christmas cards, they are all addressed, stamped and ready to be mailed out! Yay me, so efficient :) Well, I'm missing two stamps, but other than THAT, they are all addressed, stamped, and ready to be mail out! Once again, Yay me, so efficient!

Now, with that said, I must return to my waiting Political science textbook.

Much love,
Ruthie Stewart

Moments like right now...

2010-11-30T18:23:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, and especially in moments like right now, I really don't like being an adult.

Can I just crawl under my blanket, and pretend that my colourful monopoly money is real again? Can I find satisfaction in pretending to eat plastic pastries and hamburgers in my mini-kitchen like I did when I was a kid? Can I be oblivious to the concept of utilities bills, and phone bills and rent and never worrying about buying clothes or toiletries.

Since when did life get so messy... and not just in the sense of playing adventure in the forest with my friends and getting muddy.

Since when did I become an adult?

Sigh. Breathe. Smile. Make it through December....January can't come soon enough...

xo
Missy Me

This has my name written all over it...

2010-11-28T19:18:00.000-08:00

xoxo

Rufus

What a Friday!

2010-11-27T10:18:00.000-08:00

'Ello ladies and gents!

The following image is yes, me - Ruth Stewart, at 8:30 p.m. Friday night, CLEANING! I had such a great day yesterday, so productive and filled with lots of activities!

Here is my grateful entry for yesterday, Friday November 26th/2010:

Five things that I am grateful for today:

Subway - yum!
Hanging out with Sarah: seeing a movie, and shopping. It was really nice to hang out, outside of school
Cleaning my house (even if it is a Friday!) - so nice to have a clean house, bathroom and bedroom!
Clean sheets. mmmm tide!
Listening to Grandma's old Christmas records and wrapping gifts and writing Christmas cards.

So after I hung out with my friend after school, I came home and cleaned for like 3.5 hours. So many positives on that, one is that I won't be thinking about how I should be cleaning while studying (check!), and well, it just needed to be done (check!). Anyways, when I finished around 10 p.m., I turned on my Grandma's old record player and played some of her old Christmas records and sipped on some wine. I had all the lights off except the Christmas tree and living room lights. It was so nice and cozy! I wrapped the two gifts that I have and put them under our tree. Then I wrote Christmas cards! Well, I actually only wrote one card, but I addressed all the envelopes and put stamps on them, so next step is to write 'em then mail 'em out! I felt so organized! And then I went to bed around 11:15 p.m. It was just so nice. Since I am going to Ontario from the 16th-24th of December, all my presents need to be bought and wrapped before I leave! So I'm feeling really good that I'm getting on top of everything! Go Ruthie Stewart! Woot woot! *insert intense head bobbing and lip pursing*

Here are was my cleaning playlist (on repeat!):

We speak no Americano - Yolanda Be Cool
Teach me how to dougie - Cali Swag District
Toot it and Boot it - YG
I Need a Dollar - Aloe Blacc
Stereo Love - Edward Maya ft. Vika Jigulina
Go Girl- Pitbull
Day 'N Nite - Kid Cudi
Get low - Lil Jon & the Eastside Boyz ft. Ying Yang Twins

xoxo

Much Love,

Rutta