It's too near...

Hello everyone,

Wow. Well. I am defiantly not in a very good mood at the moment so bear with me. I was going to tell you all about how I had worked with Jessica Brown yesterday morning, and how I went with Krista to Hot Springs and met her awesome friend Amy. And how today me, Krista, and Mandy all went to Pine Bluff and saw Kiley's house and went for Mexican and drove around the ghetto town. And how today MaryDell brought in a disgusting bug that resembled a monster. And I freaked out and when Krista got home she even freaked out and didn't know what it was. It's skin was like human skin but dark brown with black markings like a snack. And it had nubs as if a caterpillar, and a point on one end. And I was going to talk about how the stupid cat just brought in another insect, which Krista told me was a cricket, so we locked the doggie door. But I'm not going to talk about any of that because I am getting way too emotional and worked up. 

I just sat here crying trying my hardest to be silent because Krista is in bed. But I am going home. I am going back to real life. I am going back to my day planner and scheduales and trying to see everyone and do everything and be everywhere. I am going back. And it's been a nice break from reality but my reality is hitting me again. Two more sleeps. Two more sleeps. I can't believe it. In less then 78 hours I will in my room. With my bed. My own bed that I bought and picked out. My own bathroom. All of my clothes. My family. My computer. My city. My country as a matter of fact.

I don't think I'm ready. I can't be ready if even the fact that 5 different people asked me to hang out on the night that I get home is overwhelming and upsetting to me. Don't take that the wrong way if your one of the people, it's extremly nice, and I've missed everyone dearly, but I think I am not ready. 

I have yet to learn how to make new friends yet keep my old ones. And there are a few people that I have talked to a lot more since being here whom I want to get to know better, face to face. I have a million ideas of things I want to do, and hobbies I want to take up, and activities and programs I'd love to join. But I can't. Because I know I can't fit it all in. 

I've realized since being here, that when I've been the most sick this year is because of stress. And I think the way I deal with stress is that I take it and get physically sick by it. Even this week, here, I haven't been sleeping very well. Maybe 3 to 4 hours a night. And I'm stressed. About coming home. 

It's been nice being away and reflecting on my life and realizing things that I want to take out of my life, and people who need to be removed from my life, and people that I want and need more in it, and things I need to do more, and just learning from situations, and who I am. Now, it's a matter of taking everything I've learned, and actually putting it in my real life. And that's what it comes down to. My real life.

This feels like a huge step for me at the moment. And it may seem minor to some of you, and you may be thinking jeez drama queen, but I knew from the start that when I returned either I or everything else would be different. And that this would be a point in my life where things would change. And I've learned that things in me have changed. Even if minor, things have changed. And I don't want to be stressed and panicked about coming home. 

I think it's enivitable that I was going to cry before I left though. I am leaving my friends and my family down here in Arkansas. I am leaving the life that I've had for the last five and a half weeks. And tomorrow is going to be a really big day for me, in so many ways. And I am starting to feel it. I suppose that will make more sense to the majority of you later when I get home.

Well all this to say that I am feeling a little overwhelmed and kinda scared to come home. I hope I'm ready. If there is even a thing called "ready" when it comes to decisions and steps in your life. I think sometimes it just happens, and you have to be like water and be able to move and mold and go literally with the flow.

I am excited to see my family and friends and get back to church, I am just sad and overwhelmed by it all at the moment. Hope no one took it the wrong way. 

Anyways, I love you all. Thank you so much for readying my blog while I've been away. It means a lot. 

Goodnight,

xoxo

Ruth Natasha Stewart

Scientific equation: Can Molasses and Gasoline be the same consistency?

Hey hey hey girlfriends (and possible boyfriends?),

What's poppin? What's crackalackin? What is going down in the hizzle fa shizzle? Um, how gangsta do I sound? Pretty gangsta right? Straight up yo.

Well, all this leads up to the waste of life that me and Krista spent in the GHETTO tonight. Wow, where do I even begin? Well let's see. Krista was out of gas. Yes, her gas gauge was lite, saying "fill er up". So, that is exactly what our mission was. Apparently Krista wanted us to go to the ghetto in order to do that. Well, here, I'll explain it further. The interstate (a highway) is like a line in a way, and as soon as you cross the interstate near KK's house, you're sorta in the ghetto. And ahem, I didn't really believe Krista until tonight. 

Okay. It's eight o'clock. America's Next Top Model has just ended. Me and Krista decided, hey what better then drive and get some Shakies. Mmmm, frozen chocolate custard. See image below:

So, we go and get our yummy dessert, and drive back home. Well, this is when the realization that, hey, we need some gas hits us. So, since everybody loves cheap gas, we drive over the interstate, and see that gas is 3.059 at one gas station, but oh wait, just down the road it is 2.859 for a gallon. Heck yes we thought. So, we eeeeeeeerrrrk turn around and pull into this gas station. Well, we were brilliant. We really were. What a steal of a deal. I guess the Man wanted to take pity on this one section of North America and say hey, let's give all these people a really great deal. This will encourage them to vote, be better citizens, possibly create world peace, end world hunger, all with giving them our wonderful, generous gift of $2.859 for one whole gallon of gasoline. And I mean, me and Krista pretty much can't get anymore amazing, but we thought hey, let's take up Bush on this wonderful offer and suck back some cheap gas, only with the betterment of North America of course. So, we park behind three cars all lined up for the same pump. At this point, we're feeling good. It was great a idea right?  

So the first car leaves quickly, and a big trail blazer gets into place, and starts taking Bush up on his generous offer.  Well, twenty minutes pass by, and the lady gets outta her car and goes into the store and me and Krista were like Wha? Get in your car women and be off. But oh no, her gas was still pumping. Yes that is right, twenty minutes have passed! She finally leaves as as we drive a little closer to our gift we realize the women only got $25.00 of gas! Twenty minutes for $25.00 of gas? I think something is wrong with this picture. So, in the meantime, Krista almost hit a lady behind us who was trying to get some 'ayer' in her tires. Yeah, we all know how that situation would have gone down. So. We pull forward and this lady gets out of her car and is filling up her tank and two other girls from another random car are talking with her. 30 minutes pass. I mean, that wasn't the worst part, it was quite fun listening to their rap music, learning dance moves from these bootilicious ladies, watching random people get out of their cars and walk around in between cars, people talking to each other, pimping cars driving around, flashy spinners, shiny rims, bling bling dangly from people's neck. Oh yeah people. When I said ghetto. I meant G-hetto! Finally it was our turn. Krista puts the nozzle in the tank and starts pumping away. Well, I'm sorry Bush, but I'm not sure your gift was really was we were expecting. We even made a bet, you think we can get 15 gallons in 20 minutes? 25 minutes? We both lost. We didn't even get 15 gallons. We made it to 30 dollars which was like 10.114 gallons. 

It was the SLOWEST gas exchange I have ever experienced. Krista kept saying I am going to flip, let's go. I kept saying, we have been here over an hour, we are waiting for your freaking 15 gallons. However, we did have people patiently waiting for us at the house. I don't think they really expected us home at ten!!!! We went back and forth between laughing, to freaking out, to wanting to dance but scared we might offend anyone. We might have been two out of ... four white people in a parking space full of people! At one point I wished I still wore big hoops with beads, a big baggy shirt with tight jeans, was a little more tanned, you know, up in the game. If only I was 14 again. 

But wait the best part is about to happen. This wonderfully sweet white lady in her 40s with her elderly mother were just SO kind as to NOT move up two tiny inches to let us past so we could get out of the driveway. I know. I mean, this young pretty gangsta girl moved for us to even get to the other driveway, but oh no. These two sour faced ladies stared us up and down, shook their heads and refused to move when they have a million times more room then they even needed to let us by. Let me just say, I was mad. I don't know if I've ever been so mad in my life. My palms were sweaty. I was ready to get out of the car and walk over and bang on their window. Some people. Seriously. No wonder the 40 year old was sour. She looked just like her mother. I don't' care how old they were. We're not children here. There is no need to be looking us up and down as if we're preppy school girls jealous of each other's outfits or something? The pretty young gangsta even waved from behind us and pulled out so we could back up and get out of another driveway because she saw the people wouldn't move and we sat there for over ten minutes. 

Anyways it was HILARIOUS. I mean, stupid people, but soooo funny! I laughed. Even when Krista was upset. Sorry. I laugh at inappropriate moments. It's a curse I have upon my head. When we got home I had to run to the bathroom because I thought I might actually pee myself. Literally. It was a close call. No worries, I made it though. Just fyi.

Anyways, it was quite the experience. Everything about the whole ordeal was just so hilarious. I literally would watch and we wouldn't even make a dollar in two minutes of pumping gas! 

Well that was a long post about the whole ghetto gas experience. Hope your not too bored!!!! Have a great Thursday everyone!

xoxoxoxxoxoxoxo

Goodnight. Remember, sometimes cheap gas just isn't worth it! If ever in the ghetto, and there is a line, pay the extra few cents. Really! Canadians never lie ;)

Miss Ruth

My Flippin weekend.....

Darling kinfolk, and just folk in general,

Listen. Love. Matt Nathenson. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elKRw80kU10&feature=related  This is the only good version I could find of the song, don't mind the random grey's anatomy tv show clippings?

I believe Krista has gotten me hooked. I think I might possibly be in love. Now if only he'd move to Canada, and woo me with the gift of song. And voice. So pretty much his voice could be a giant box of dark chocolate m&ms, shakies soft serve custard ice cream, a few dance movies, and maybe a pair of cute high heels. Now do you fully realize my love for this man?

Okay, so this post shall be pictures! Ready? I know I am copying A, but oh well. What can I say, sometimes I just envy the talented, and gifted.

Let us start with the foot. Krista's mama is a little prankster. Seriously, there were tears. And dribbles of pee. Just kidding. But I seriously PANICKED. Imagine, me changing in this bedroom. Well okay don't picture me changing, but imagine the dead of night. All is silent in the wee town of Flippin. The house is still unknown to me.  I need to change however. I feel as though all is safe. I close the door. I have fully changed, and have placed my worn clothes on top of my suitcase. As I walk towards the bed again I look down, and there it is: A leg peering out from underneath the bed. I rushed out of the room so fast only to walk into Krista who was coming to see if I had spotted "the foot". Dear lord. I couldn't figure out who would be under the bed, but after a few seconds of freaking out,  I didn't care who it was anymore, I just needed to remove myself from it. If it moved... there would have been screams. Scary. Seriously. You'd have been scared too. Tear, it's not just me!

Now let us look below at a picture of a cat that, well, has a little bit of an obesity problem. Ahem, he looks like he swallowed a raccoon as Krista would like to describe. Cutest thing ever, but might need to consider going on a diet. This picture of awful of me, as I just woke up, comma however, the picture is about the obese cat, not my...ah, looks.

So, it was family reunion for the Johnson family (Krista's mama's family) and so we gathered to go on a hay ride. Well, I will admit, the hay ride wasn't exactly my highlight because there were two very defining moments in this weekend for me, Miss RuthieStewart.

Exhibit A: Krista's father found a cat in his shop, which lead Kiley to discover it had big boobies, which lead to the discovery of tinee-tiny KITTENS!!! They looked like hamsters, with tails. So cute. I miss them so much already. "Daddy? Can I bring one home? Huh huh? Please! I'll even pick up the clothes from my bedroom floor!" I went and checked on them like 5-6 times a day! And the mommy cat was soo nice. It let me hold them and everything. They still had their umbilical cords and their eyes weren't even open. Just babies! So, this is a picture of A's I had to steal because my pictures are on Kiley's camera, which are with her. Oh well. But here is one of them!!! Kiley named all four of them after the Golden Girls. Not that I could tell you their names now. Um.. I think that was before my time ....

Exhibit B: Well, Krista's Uncle and cousin Shane found a baby deer back in May I think dying in the middle of the road. So they have taken him home and cared for him and he has yet to realize he's a deer. Ha! It's adorable. So! I got to bottle feed him. It was sooo cute. Krista made a video, but it's hard to see, so I have a picture also to prove it. He was really soft too. Oh Copper!

     

   

So, I have confirmed yet another reason why I might possibly hate the outdoors. The bugs here are EATING ME UP. My feet look like I have chicken poxs, and my knees and legs are just being chewed away. Don't be alarmed if I arrive home with missing limbs. And I know it seems impossible but I am REALLY trying to get over the whole bug issue. I think I am getting better. To some degree. It's still hard...but I'm a working progress!!!

Okay, so I am going to leave you with a few pictures, and a video, which proves that I have driven... at least once.....it's really so you can all remember my cackle laugh, and the shout out to my mama!

Krista, Me, and her cousin Sydney (xo!)

KK, Me, Adrienne, and Poppy

Lastly, this is what the hayride consisted of. A tracker and trailer with hay! Oh so country!!

Okay, well, I just want to say, that I seriously love Krista's parents, and her family down the country road (that is where I was driving to, just so you can visualize). Her aunt and uncle and cousins were so sweet, and I instantly loved them all. And her dad is just adorable, and her mom is so sweet and full of zeal. They were all so great. I'll be sure to visit Flippin again :)

Anyways, I shall be off to bed. Love you all!!! Remember, if you text I probably won't reply. Sorry my dears. It's just not worth the 0.60 cents. Kidding...but seriously....

xoxo

Goodnight,

Ruth

My last weekend here....

Here here... ladies and gentlemen, the end is near...

How sad is that? The end is near!! I asked Kiley today how she felt about that, she denied knowing that I was leaving. Krista won't let me say that I am leaving. Oh to be loved! Truth is though, I am leaving. In a week! I am, oh so not prepared to go.

Now latest news! Literally JUST happened.  Excuse this interruption we have a live broadcast streaming in from Flippin, Arkansas: My phone bill is OUTRAGEOUS! Eep!! Here is the deal-o, yo. I called the Bell (phone lady) before I got onto my plane to Arkansas to double check that I was good-to-go with the text messaging situation. I knew beforehand that I wouldn't be able to make calls on my cell because of long distance and roaming charges. However, I pay $10 a month for unlimited text messaging, BUT I still wanted to make sure that it was okay in the states. Well. I called the lady; she said it was A-okay. I was ready to roll, have a great trip, and thank you for choosing Bell. Yeah, well thankyouverymuch I have apparently been being charged 0.60 for each message I sent out. Well, I'm sure by now you all know that I text message. A lot. A lot a lot. And even more so since being away!!! So...drum roll please. My total for text message is....dum de dum: $669.00. *Choke* *Cough* *Excuse me?, someone call 911, I think I just had a heart attack!*. Yeah. That's what I thought too. So, anyways, kinda had a freak out, panic episode happen here in the Sr. Kirksey residence. But, with all that said,  I am going to call Bell Mobility and ask politely for them to reconsider? Please...purty please? Too bad they can't see my lovely puppy face - big sad eyes and pouty lip. But as Jessica Brown would said, It's fine. Really. It's fine.

On a lighter note, yes I am at the Sr. Kirkey Residence for the annual Hay Ride extravaganza. Apparently, it's kinda a big deal. You know, anybody who's anybody will be here, aka me and the Kirksey's oh and of course A, Nate and Poppy (and every body's family, but really the Canadian is here so that is all that matters right?). I am well, pretty much super excited! I was shown the trailer full of square hay bails, and by the looks of it, we are gonna have a good time tomorrow night. Oh, and let me add in, Krista's parents are ADORABLE. Literally Adorable. They both hugged me when I got in, and were both there saying oh my oh my when the whole cellular phone incident occurred (refer above). But anyways, they are adorable. So is their FAT FAT FAT cat! I tried to get Kk to take a picture of me with it, but he got scared and ran away. Tomorrow. I shall upload him tomorrow. 

So, what has been going on this week.... well Tuesday I went walking on the Big Dam Bridge with Krista, Jessica and their friend Rachael. It was really good, and beautiful. They were cool (as in cold, chilly, yeah not cool like me heh heh), but I was warm. It's funny. I have a feeling I will freeze though once I get home. Prepare for the Ruthie Stewart whining. But anyways, it was good, and I have pictures but they are on Kiley's laptop which is three hours South of where I currently am, therefore, you shall not see them till next week. Wednesday was America's Next Top Model of course. Lovely darling just lovely. And Thursday, I went to work with Jessica. So Jessica is a DPT, Physical Therapist, and I went to see what is all about. Remember, I'm trying to figure out what I want to do for school? :) So did that, it was enlightening. She put me in a machine to see if my back was strong, and thankyouverymuch even though Mrs. Brown here doubted, I am in fact in the normal average range for back strength. Yeah that's right Jessica Brown. Bap bap. And then we went home, had yummy pork chops (there was even a bone on the meat, come on guys, I'm growing) and mac and cheese which was fantastic, I think that was my highlight of the meal, so lame but it was different then my regular Kraft dinner.....AND THEN the Vice Presidential debate was on. So as Jessica was watching downstairs and Bill upstairs while on the computer, I went to their room and watched School of Rock (a beam of light!). It was a good time. Then I went with Jessica and watched a movie after.

Honestly people, it is hilarious I feel like I could vote right now for America and have an educated vote. It is seriously all people talk about. And um..there is a Canadian Election? Why!!?!? Since when!?!? I need to read up on it this week, cause I have no idea who's running or their stands or anything. Oh dear. Sometimes people..sometimes.....

Anyways, I spent the day with Jessica today, doing running around and such things, and then Kiley came and got me and we drove up to Flippin where I am currently sitting in Miss Judy's kitchen typing away.  So, yeah been a good week. A good second last week. 

Side note: Never, ever buy Mastercard gift cards for anyone. Waste of money, energy and time. I have wasted how many hours trying to make them work, and shopping picking out stuff in different stores hoping they will work in a different store. Piece of poop. Seriously. Poop. Never will I recommend or buy them. I have $50 in these gift cards that I can't even use cause they WON'T WORK. Dangit. 

Ah, deep breathe, I'm over it. It's all good. It's fine, really:) 

So, my lovely readers, friends and foes, I am off to enjoy the rest of the evening with my little Kirksey friend. Have a marvelous Friday evening, or whenever you're reading this. Love you all!!

xoxox

Rubu