18 days...

Hello all,

Hope you are doing splendid and not missing me too much!

Not gonna lie, today was a rough one for me! Besides my melt down the other night because of what that guy said to me, this morning has probably been the hardest I've experienced since getting camp.

It's not that I'm homesick... there isn't really one thing I miss a ton, I'm just exhausted. All my energy has been sucked out of me and its been so hard going back to rooms to clean. They are all starting to look the same... it's such a mind numbing job. I can't even think about anything during the day. I can't think about my life or situations or the people I love, or the funny joke I heard at lunch. I have to think "Towels? Check! Garbage? Check! Bed made? Dusted? Vacuumed? Coffee? Extra soap needed?" Etc. It's just so repetitive.

I've come to discover that this job is super emotionally draining. No wonder why people sleep with each other here, there is 1. Nothing to do. 2. People get lonely. and 3. You are so removed from civilization. And I'm just emotionally drained in general from so many different things going on with me lately, this job is just adding to it.

The men still hold doors open for the ladies (or at least I've noticed it for me...). Sheldon always makes me walk in the door first as he holds it, Jerome will offer his seat if he has one and I don't. But even the workers all nod or acknowledge you or try to make small talk. Not in a creepy way...but there has to be some sort of normality.

I just need a break. I cannot wait for Wednesday morning at 4:30a.m. as I will be boarding the shuttle to the airport.

I've managed to have a good day everyday though. Laugh everyday, enjoy myself at some point. Like I said before this morning was really hard. I was on the verge of tears until about 11. One of my supervisors even took me aside when I exchanged keys (mine weren't working) and asked if I was okay. I almost busted into tears right there! But Sheldon cheered me up after, but not before commenting on the bags under my eyes and saying I looked like crap. Go me!

One funny thing is at dinner, Jerome said the word Sprinkle. And with his Jamaican accent, it was HILARIOUS. Apparently ( I only vaguely was aware of this) I pushed my tray forward, slouched in the booth and pulled my shirt above my head and did a loud cackle before silent laughing. I cried. Oh I cried. Everyone was laughing at me for like 10 minutes! And then I would laugh re-hearing Jerome in my head. Oh Wapasu...they don't even know what is hitting them. Ruth's cackle is emerging!!! I guess I must be getting comfortable with these people!

I love you all,
Don't miss me too bad....;)
Rutta

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5s5GVn03hB8
This song seriously almost makes me cry....Eminem ft. Rhianna