Funk funk funky...

Dearest friends and family,

I just finished Day Two back at camp, and I already feel completely drained. I don't think it is the work load that is making me feel drained, just everything in my being feels drained. It's strange, I don't know if I've ever felt so alone before. It's like I'm surrounded by people, and by technology to keep me connected to the people from home, but I feel totally isolated from people who love and care about me.

I realized I've already established myself as the listener amongst my friends here. And when I need to talk, I have two options to talk to, being who are way too optimistic and can't relate at all to me or people who are way too down and make me feel worse. It's hard to find a happy medium.

I know I can't expect people to deeply care or love me out here, hey, I've known these people for what, 4 weeks now? It's just hard feeling so isolated. And talking with 'technology' to people back home just isn't the same. And I know no one back home really knows what it's like being out here so it's hard for them to relate in any way too.

I'm not trying to complain nor say I wish I was home, because it isn't terrible here by any means. I just feel alone, and down and just tired of a lot of stuff. I just need someone who is really close to me to give me a big hug and let me cry on them, and tell me I will get through this summer.

I think tonight is going to be an alone night for sure. In a situation like this, I know Mandy or Evanna would be right by my side with chocolate, and wine and a movie and sit with me and either let me cry or let me vent it out, and I'd be totally fine. Man, I miss you guys. I hope you know that!

xoxoxo
Miss Ruth