Decisions decisions...

So I've been thinking...what are my recent feelings of suffocation and being unsatisfied with life really from? Is it from the fact that I haven't have a breather or a break from anything since last summer? Do I just need to take a weekend and get out of the city for fun? Do I need to move? Do I need to make new friends? Do I need to work on my current relationships? Do I need to find some new hobbies? Will figuring out the degree I really want to be in fix it? Do I need to focus on my relationship with God? Do I need to get more involved or less involved with church? Would taking bass lessons help? Do I need to write off men for a few years?

I keep hearing that I need to 'find myself" because I haven't had a break from men since I was 18, but how do you even do that? Is there a formula, a set of instructions, a manual of sorts? Do I just go wandering the streets looking for my twin and ask her what I should do?

I'm 21. I think I am entitled to having fun. To being able to look back at these years of my life and thinking they were my ultimate best. I keep telling myself that I need to just make it happen. Make the things that I want to actually happen. That's hard though when one doesn't know exactly what it IS that they want. I have this gut feeling that filling my life up with more things and activities isn't going to feel the piece of me that isn't satisfied with life.

What to do, what to do...

Your ever searching friend,

miss ruth

xo