Hope you are having a splendid day, some of you are back to work from yesterday's holiday, some have the day off. I hope either way, it's been a good day.
So, I've been doing a lot of 'soul' searching some might call it. Really digging deep into things in my past that have shaped me, things I want in my future, the type of person I want to be, things to strive for, removing things from my life that are destructive. It's been kind of hard, but every step of the way has made me feel like a better person. I've been loving learning things about myself, and getting rid of those things that are holding me back. I'm no where near I should be, but every step counts I believe.
Last week I had a professor speak a lot of sense into me. I mean, he was teaching a class of around 45, and my friends were teasing that they felt like they were in a marital counselling class, but I really love my Sociology of Families studies. I love hearing married people speak on things that make relationships work or not work. It helps me accept relationships from my past, and hopefully correct mistakes for my future.
This past week, he went up to our white board, and drew a small dot right in the center, sort of like the picture below.
He then asked what we saw. Everyone stated the obvious, a dot. He then asked what else do you see, and the class was silent; a little confused at the point he was trying to make. He then went on to this explanation:
The dot is that little thing you find annoying with someone. A mistake they made, in hurting your feelings, or forgetting to pick up the milk on the way home from work. It's that annoying sound they make when they are finished eating, it's the toilet seat being left up 6 out of 10 times. It's the problems, that aren't really huge problems. All of the sudden, that little thing is the only thing you can see. We exaggerate the issues into huge things. You can't see that there is this MAASIVE area all around the dot, all the viable, great things that are working and that make you happy. As humans, we always want to focus on the negative things. We like to pick, pick at things, pick things a part, just focus on the tiny little things that really are insignificant. Even if this board had 10 dots on it, look at the rest of the board, the rest of the white board. Why can't we focus on that?
Honestly, it might not sound profound to any of you, but it was a major thing for me. All of my past relationships flooded into my head, all the things that annoy me in having a roommate, things I used to fight about with my siblings or parents. How true is it that we focus on the negative? I'm sitting here staring at a cupboard door that ,I myself, left open, thinking about how it makes me SO annoyed when my roommate leaves cupboard doors open, but in the grand scheme of things, does it ruin my relationship with her? Does it make her a terrible roommate? Did a bit of my world just die because I can see inside a cupboard? No, absolutely not. Especially considering the fact that I just did it.
If we were able to just accept things of other people, and learn to not put all our effort and thought into those small dots, I think relationships could last longer, be stronger, and flourish. So, I put that out there, today, think about the small dots that you focus on, and try to let them go. Trust me, I'm going on six days of it, and it's a really good feeling.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1i5BUYCQRKQ
Love you all,
Ruthie
4 comments:
What an awesome story, would like to post it on my page and share if I may, thinkin I might enjoy that class....
sorry didn't mean to be annonymous
Wendy Sowden? Yeah you can share it, would it share the entire blog though? Or just copy the post? I don't really want my entire blog for all to see.
Wow..that was awesome. thank you for sharing. what a great example your teacher did.
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