What a friend...

Good evening ladies and gents,

So, today was a really crappy day for me. It started off just busy, early morning, started studying/work right off the bat, went to psych (boring, I hate that class), went to History (got back an exam, and oh great, FAILED!), had a break which I used to study more, went to Religion (got back an exam, oh goodie FAILED for a second time in one day!). So yeah, not good. Not good at all.

I know this sounds retarded, but I don't fail school related things. Even if I half ass things, I usually can come out with a 70 at least. Possible high 60s. But History, I really studied for that exam, it's 25% of my mark, and I got a 47%. Only 4 people passed that exam, two of which were in the 50s. Honestly, I am terrified I'm going to fail this course. I can't drop out, it's not even an option. And Religion, well I studied for that one too, but after writing it I knew I did crap, so it wasn't a huge surprise,but it just sucks seeing '45% F' written on the bottom of anything in bright red ink. Evil red ink. Gr.

On top of that, I haven't been given any work from NAIT for 2 weeks. So, I won't be getting any money in the middle of March. It's just one stress on top of another. I'm trying to do my best in everything which seems to be resulting in me doing poorly in everything.

Anyways, I came home from school and worked out, then had dinner, then a bath. Mandy came home when I had a bath, and I'm going to be the first to admit, sometimes I just can't stand talking to the people I live with. When I lived with my family, I was the same way. They are the first to get the brunt of any issue or problem especially if I had a bad day. I had texted Mandy earlier to warn her of the fact that I was having a terrible day and needed space. So, after my bath, I was feeling really awful, crying a bit, and just rehearsing all negative things in my head. So in my 'despair', I bundled up and walked to the grocery store in -34 weather. What did I buy? Cheesecake, mini-eggs and a magazine. That is basically what my life came down to in those 30 minutes. Pathetic much? You know, blow some money that I've been savagely saving because I have none, and eat crap when I just worked out. Good idea Ruth.

As I was standing in line, eyes full of tears, realizing what an idiot I was, guess who text messaged me? Mandy! In my head, my roommate - the exact person I want to not have to talk to. But, I seem to have forgotten that Mandy, before being my roommate, was my friend. Her text said "I'm outside save on when you're finished". It took everything in me to not break down at the till while the poor girl was ringing in my items. Possibly thinking, yeesh, this girl must be desperate. Cheesecake and mini-eggs at 7:30 on a Wednesday night while crying!

I walked outside and Mandy was there, waiting. She must have followed me after I left. As I had left the house she said "are you leaving"? And I just mumbled "I'm going to the grocery store", and rushed out the door. I couldn't believe she was there. I got in the car and silently tears just ran down my face. We drove back to our place and she said "do you want to talk about it"? So I started to explain and started to sob a bit and she just held my hand and listen.

What a friend. I have no words. After that, I felt so much better, and we watched a few of our 'Wednesday" shows together and ate my crappy food, and I laughed and was a lot more cheerful.

So thank you Mandy. For being my friend above being my roommate, and understanding what I'm going through. I appreciate it more than you know.

xoxox
Ruth