Oh the possibilities...

Well, it's not secret that I've been miserable lately. I seriously don't remember the last time I have felt so awful about every aspect of my life. I've been feeling really down for about a month now and these past two weeks have really just been awful. I stayed with my family the entire weekend, and I really needed it. I needed their support and their unconditional love. I can't remember the last time I've cried so many times every day, for so many days in a row. I honestly didn't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I have so many things I need to figure out and work out right now, I always seem to let myself get so bogged down. And I've felt very much alone for a while now... it's funny how people choose to see the smile you give for 5 minutes of the day and pretend that they can't see the other 23 hours and 55 minutes of the day where you aren't happy. Some people just don't care. I get that. I get it that when you are so happy with everything in your life you don't want to let other people ruin that for you. It's okay. I've been there. Although I've been down before, I'm not sure if quite to this extent, this time my emotions took over 100%. I'd apologize for making people's lives miserable if I did, but I truthfully am not sorry so hence the lack of apologies. I can't apologize for something that I honestly don't know how I could have changed.

I think it's time for some serious changes in my life, and I need to actually make them and not just think about them. So, here are to all the possibilities that my life can be, and to all the possibilities that I can embrace and push forward. I'm tired of feeling like I'm staying in the same spot. I crave for growing, and learning and moving forward. Now is the time for it to happen, and so it shall.

xo
Ruth Natasha