Something new

Hello my lovelies,

It's almost been a year since I've neglected my dear blog. What a shame. It's been a crazy year  for sure, and I won't fill you in on everything that's happened (trust me, it's a blessing to not get into details!). This past week has been pretty interesting for me though.

I went for coffee with a friend on Saturday. Her and her husband are early 20s and always look amazing. They have great style, great hair cuts, great bags, great shoes and and and yeah...you get it. So, me and my friend were talking and I was saying how they always looked great and she told me I needed to just 'go for it'. I had a listed off a few things for her and she kept saying "Ruth! You need to do these things NOW or you will always have regrets". She was right. There are so many things I've wanted to do, and slowly I've just let myself go. So. Sunday I got myself into a dress and did my makeup and went to church. Tuesday I dressed up for my internship (how I used to dress) and got compliments the whole day at school. Wednesday I had a breakfast date and wore a top I haven't in forever with lace on the arms. Thursday I went and got a hoop in my nose which I've wanted for a long time. And then tonight I decided to take myself on a solo movie date. These things all seem small and strange that I'm listing but they were all baby steps for me. Going to a movie alone was one of my biggest fears. It always comes down to 'what will people think of me?'. Whether its how I dress, or if I do something different with my hair or if I wear lipstick. I always worry about what other people think. And this week I just kicked that in the butt.

I honestly feel liberated. It's like I have a peace deep within me and an excitement for what I will do next. I started hating myself over the last few months. I would only wear yoga pants and hoodies and I had stopped doing my hair much. It's like I became a shell of myself. Other people probably wouldn't have noticed... but it was eating away at me. So yes, this week has been interesting for sure. I feel a new sense of pride in myself and independence again.  I had a lady ask me what I learned from my past breakup a few months ago and I had to really sit and think about it. I'm happy I'm learning and growing and reflecting and changing.

This post is all over the place, but that's how I'm feeling. Just excited and my mind is racing with things that I've always wanted to do but was always too afraid of what people would think. This is a new chapter for me. And I cannot wait!

xoxox
Ruth

p.s: Here is an amazing Spoken Word link. Watch it!