What's poppin? What's crackalackin? What is going down in the hizzle fa shizzle? Um, how gangsta do I sound? Pretty gangsta right? Straight up yo.
Well, all this leads up to the waste of life that me and Krista spent in the GHETTO tonight. Wow, where do I even begin? Well let's see. Krista was out of gas. Yes, her gas gauge was lite, saying "fill er up". So, that is exactly what our mission was. Apparently Krista wanted us to go to the ghetto in order to do that. Well, here, I'll explain it further. The interstate (a highway) is like a line in a way, and as soon as you cross the interstate near KK's house, you're sorta in the ghetto. And ahem, I didn't really believe Krista until tonight.
Okay. It's eight o'clock. America's Next Top Model has just ended. Me and Krista decided, hey what better then drive and get some Shakies. Mmmm, frozen chocolate custard. See image below:
So, we go and get our yummy dessert, and drive back home. Well, this is when the realization that, hey, we need some gas hits us. So, since everybody loves cheap gas, we drive over the interstate, and see that gas is 3.059 at one gas station, but oh wait, just down the road it is 2.859 for a gallon. Heck yes we thought. So, we eeeeeeeerrrrk turn around and pull into this gas station. Well, we were brilliant. We really were. What a steal of a deal. I guess the Man wanted to take pity on this one section of North America and say hey, let's give all these people a really great deal. This will encourage them to vote, be better citizens, possibly create world peace, end world hunger, all with giving them our wonderful, generous gift of $2.859 for one whole gallon of gasoline. And I mean, me and Krista pretty much can't get anymore amazing, but we thought hey, let's take up Bush on this wonderful offer and suck back some cheap gas, only with the betterment of North America of course. So, we park behind three cars all lined up for the same pump. At this point, we're feeling good. It was great a idea right?
So the first car leaves quickly, and a big trail blazer gets into place, and starts taking Bush up on his generous offer. Well, twenty minutes pass by, and the lady gets outta her car and goes into the store and me and Krista were like Wha? Get in your car women and be off. But oh no, her gas was still pumping. Yes that is right, twenty minutes have passed! She finally leaves as as we drive a little closer to our gift we realize the women only got $25.00 of gas! Twenty minutes for $25.00 of gas? I think something is wrong with this picture. So, in the meantime, Krista almost hit a lady behind us who was trying to get some 'ayer' in her tires. Yeah, we all know how that situation would have gone down. So. We pull forward and this lady gets out of her car and is filling up her tank and two other girls from another random car are talking with her. 30 minutes pass. I mean, that wasn't the worst part, it was quite fun listening to their rap music, learning dance moves from these bootilicious ladies, watching random people get out of their cars and walk around in between cars, people talking to each other, pimping cars driving around, flashy spinners, shiny rims, bling bling dangly from people's neck. Oh yeah people. When I said ghetto. I meant G-hetto! Finally it was our turn. Krista puts the nozzle in the tank and starts pumping away. Well, I'm sorry Bush, but I'm not sure your gift was really was we were expecting. We even made a bet, you think we can get 15 gallons in 20 minutes? 25 minutes? We both lost. We didn't even get 15 gallons. We made it to 30 dollars which was like 10.114 gallons.
It was the SLOWEST gas exchange I have ever experienced. Krista kept saying I am going to flip, let's go. I kept saying, we have been here over an hour, we are waiting for your freaking 15 gallons. However, we did have people patiently waiting for us at the house. I don't think they really expected us home at ten!!!! We went back and forth between laughing, to freaking out, to wanting to dance but scared we might offend anyone. We might have been two out of ... four white people in a parking space full of people! At one point I wished I still wore big hoops with beads, a big baggy shirt with tight jeans, was a little more tanned, you know, up in the game. If only I was 14 again.
But wait the best part is about to happen. This wonderfully sweet white lady in her 40s with her elderly mother were just SO kind as to NOT move up two tiny inches to let us past so we could get out of the driveway. I know. I mean, this young pretty gangsta girl moved for us to even get to the other driveway, but oh no. These two sour faced ladies stared us up and down, shook their heads and refused to move when they have a million times more room then they even needed to let us by. Let me just say, I was mad. I don't know if I've ever been so mad in my life. My palms were sweaty. I was ready to get out of the car and walk over and bang on their window. Some people. Seriously. No wonder the 40 year old was sour. She looked just like her mother. I don't' care how old they were. We're not children here. There is no need to be looking us up and down as if we're preppy school girls jealous of each other's outfits or something? The pretty young gangsta even waved from behind us and pulled out so we could back up and get out of another driveway because she saw the people wouldn't move and we sat there for over ten minutes.
Anyways it was HILARIOUS. I mean, stupid people, but soooo funny! I laughed. Even when Krista was upset. Sorry. I laugh at inappropriate moments. It's a curse I have upon my head. When we got home I had to run to the bathroom because I thought I might actually pee myself. Literally. It was a close call. No worries, I made it though. Just fyi.
Anyways, it was quite the experience. Everything about the whole ordeal was just so hilarious. I literally would watch and we wouldn't even make a dollar in two minutes of pumping gas!
Well that was a long post about the whole ghetto gas experience. Hope your not too bored!!!! Have a great Thursday everyone!
xoxoxoxxoxoxoxo
Goodnight. Remember, sometimes cheap gas just isn't worth it! If ever in the ghetto, and there is a line, pay the extra few cents. Really! Canadians never lie ;)
Miss Ruth
1 comment:
Let me think, what was it that made me realize that we didn't exactly fit in..was it the lack of spinners on my Ford, or that we were thumpin to country music when we pulled in, or was it that we were both wearing clothes from the GAP and tina fey glasses? I am going with D. All of the Above!
Honestly, this is my very favorite ridiculously hilarious moment since Ruthie Stewart has been in Arkansas! Ruthie and KK: Trapped in a Rap Video.
Also, I do appreciate the fact that Ruthie can now relate ANYTHING back to American politics.:)
Barack the Vote.
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