I hate breakups. I hate the heartache. If we could all just meet the right person, at the right age, right time in our lives, none of this yucky stuff would be necessary.
I hate that I hold my breath every time it's like, I just saw someone who looked like him, or I just saw the exact same white Chevy truck, or I just smelled his cologne, or heard a song that reminds me of him etc... I feel like I'm constantly holding my breath.
I need to breath.
It hasn't been two weeks and I'm already ready to rip my heart out so I don't feel any of this anymore.
I don't have time to.
I need to focus on school... the distractions aren't welcomed.
Worst part, is everyone who broken up with someone they truly cared about goes through this, and no one's advice really carries much weight when it comes right down to it.
Half of me just wants to stay miserable and continue eating handfuls of chocolate, and listening to sappy love songs and breakup songs, and sleep as often as I can so I don't have to think anymore, but the other half of me just wants to get over myself and be happy. Truly happy.
I think that is what everyone wants. Happiness in its fullest.
So...I shall pep talk myself, Take the bull by the horns, You can do whatever you set your mind to, Follow the yellow brick road...
Anyways, I love you all dearly,
xoxo
Miss Ruth
Love is No Big Truth: Kings of Convenience
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LwVQD6ig0U
3 comments:
Ruthie...you are truly one of the most wonderful people I know. All you Stewarts are...
You will meet that guy that cares about you more than you can imagine...and it will be at the right time for both of you. I am sorry that you are going through this pain, and I hope you feel better soon. Trust me, when its truly right, you will know and it will be worth the wait.
Hope it's ok that I snoop your page...like I said I think you are wonderful and I like to hear...or read...what is going on in your life.
take care Ruthie love!
xoxox
Oh Regi,
That is sooo sweet! I had no idea you sometimes read my blog :) That is very cool. I love finding out different people I didn't know have read it even once lol.
I appreciate what you said. Plus side is I'm still young right ;) And I think you are great too! I still remember you trying to keep everyone warm at Steph's wedding. Ha ha ha, it was fun!
Hope all is going well with you,
xoxo
Back in the day, when I was in a similar situation, I read this on someone's blog:
"I also find it funny how time chisels at the once monumental and detailed events of our lives, such as relationships and their end, and after some years you are able to concisely and dispassionately summarize something that once consumed your entire being. Just for that, time is my friend, not my enemy."
I took a lot of comfort from that, and am happy to say, it's true.
Of course, you're right, advice from other people doesn't help much. You can't force this stuff. You just deal with it, one small breath and piece of chocolate at a time (in my case hardcore drug addiction).
The good thing is, life is bigger than what you feel right now. You might "know" that in your head, or you might think I'm full of poopoo, but it's the truth and sometimes you just gotta trust that it is the truth.
You'll be fine. You will. Trust me. I have immense psychic powers.
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