I hope you are all feel a lot more awake than I do today! I just feel like allowing my body to fall a sleep sitting up. Too bad I couldn't get away with the silence of the keyboard not clicking away.
It's been quite the weekend. Defiantly a bit of an emotional roller coaster actually. I am going to add pictures of our new couches and my birthday festivities tomorrow hopefully. I wouldn't want my Americans to not feel involved!
Yesterday was kinda a hard day in a random way. I realized that tomorrow (which is today) was May 10th, which makes it exactly one month since I last talked to Mike, and Wednesday the 12th will be exactly 2 months since we broke up. How can it be that we've almost been apart as long as we were together!?
All the date connections eventually led to me breaking down in church. It's easy to think about all the bad stuff to help you be angry, move on and try to get over things, but once all those good memories start to leak from your hippocampus, things start to press down and make it hard to breath again.
I guess what makes it so hard is I wish he was here for so many big things that have happened. Even getting new couches or the fact that Charlie is gone (he was allergic) would have been exciting to him, even if small to others. And since we all know how big of a deal my birthday is... it was just kinda rough. Not that his absence made the events a bust, there just could have been more potential for greatness. I guess when it comes down to it, what sucks the most is his not wanting to be a part of my life for these things...
Anyways, I know I've spent too many blog posts and words on what seems to be the endless tragedy of my breakup with Mike. Too bad my heart isn't driving the same speed limit as my brain is on the Road to Recovery.
Much love,
Ruth
xo
Dashboard Confessional: Hold On
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4623316897828506979#
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