I did it again. I literally have done a 360. Full circle. Full crappy circle. You think 365 days of me time would have taught me a lesson. But no. I chose the worst. The worst chose me. I don't know who chose who.
I think I'm guarded, but really I think I'm just ripped a part bit by bit.
It's sad really. People's advice doesn't work. I can't be rude or harsh or cold or standoffish. I don't know what works. Nothing I'm doing works. But suggestions don't either. I was told I love hard and fast. I don't want to. But I don't want to become calloused and jaded. I think the latter is taking over though.
I think that solo movie was a foreshadowing of how my life needs to become now. Maybe my 24th year is a Ruth solo and happy year. Cause Ruth dating isn't working...
Who knows. I don't. Sigh.
Sorry for the depressing post. I just needed to get it out.
Here is to you: JA, JV, JI, MF, JB, JP, RT, MS, MH, AB, EP, SK, JO, DN
Thank you.
Love, Me
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